A Timely End to a Sweet Memory

Del was released as the Bishop of our Ward yesterday.
The 5 yrs seem to have passed quickly and the memories will last a lifetime.
He served well.
He gave more than he had to give.
And the Lord is pleased.
I am so proud to be his wife and love him dearly.
Now, time for some R&R for that man.

Sad Realization

I'm 57 years old; almost 58.  And aside from my daughters and sisters, I don't have any friends.
Yes, I know a lot of people, and they know me.  You know, the one's you see at church every week and say 'hi' in passing.  My co-workers tolerate me on the weekdays but we don't socialize at all out of the office. And my daughters and sisters like me because they HAVE to - we're family.  But they wouldn't choose me as a friend if I wasn't.
I'm not very good friend material.  I'm not patient with high maintenance people and I tend to be very blunt, sarcastic and very dry sense of humor with everyone.  Well, at least I USED to.  This year, I've probably changed more than I ever have in the past..  Menopause has left me just a shell of my former self.  I have no emotions - no ups and downs - no desires - no fears, pains, joys or expectations.  It has truly left me wondering what I do now with this body I have been left with.  I have anxiety like never before and have become a complete introvert - I go no-where in a social setting and seldom leave my house but to go to work.
Like I said...not very good 'friend' material.
But I want to be. 
So I have decided, after a year in the making, to become good friends with several people - be nice - I mean, REALLY be genuinely NICE to people.  I can't be the funny, outgoing, full of energy and life of the party person I used to be years ago, but I can be nice. And kind.  Take time to be kind and seek out others needs and wants instead, of my own. 
So my New Years Resolution has been chosen...become BFF's with someone...just someone.  Maybe even more than just ONE someone, but several 'someone's.  You know, the one you go to lunch with - gossip with - laugh with - go on a 'girl's get away 'with -
Someone I can give a necklace to.

They Come in all Different Sizes

A pair for every set of feet

The feet that wear these shoes belong to the people that make our house a home. And for hours after they have gone, their laughs and giggles, tears and rough housing, prayers and songs can still be heard by those of us who remain within these walls.
What joy these walls have experienced.

Our Sweet Spot

This is our backyard.  Just a corner of it.  We call it our 'sweet spot'.
Many nights, this backyard is filled with grandkids giggles, squeels, bonfires for roasting mallows, chasing from monsters and lot's of 'tag, you're it'.  The following mornings, it will once again be our peaceful and beautiful 'sweet spot'.
The leaves are falling and each night's memories remain firmly in my mind.
Del and I are blessed - truly blessed to have this life Heavenly Father has granted us.
I thank Him each day.

It Can't Happen Soon Enough

Sleepover with the Grandkids

We took them to Chick -fi-lay first where they ate all the chicken nuggets and fries they could before playing for over an hour on the toys.

frosting Halloween cookies

Our attempt at trying to get them all to sleep.  SO many giggles and laughs!!!

Papa and his favorite little people.

The Lott's that live with The Lott's

I love that she sucks her fingers

5 Months Old

Em loves taking a bath in Nana's tub.

Just hanging around outside

Having a sleep over with cousins

Evie's first Halloween

Emerson waiting until the time 'matches' so he can call his cousins.

The Halloween Mermaid

A Cowboy for Halloween - of course

A family selfie

Emerson loving on his sister

Off to a Halloween party at Mike and Kylie's

At Bliss Orthodontics

Work for some people, is just that...work.
But I have to admit, even though I have days that I'm ready to quit the job and be a stay home Nana, I really am blessed to have the job I do.  We do fun things in the office, Doctor takes us out to nice dinners, we celebrate Halloween with gusto, attend boring seminars and all get along for the most part.
This year will be our most financially successful year so far.  I have worked hard - I mean, really hard this year in our production and our collections.
I will be asking for a raise at the end of the year.

A BYU Memory Before Coming Home

I have to be honest... we chose the wedding date according to when there would be a football game in Provo.  And we all went -
And even though we lost the game, it was fun to be there as a family.

Mr. and Mrs. Ammon Malone

 It's a done deal.  No exchanges, no returns...Ammon has married our Kathryn.  And they are happy.I will write more about the weeks event the week before the wedding and the wedding day later, but I at least needed to get it documented that our last child is officially a spouse...Sept. 15, 2017.

It Is Enough

 Our country has been divided for years and years over racism and evil in the world.  A few years ago, black athletes started protesting their feelings of inequality  by taking a knee during the playing of the National Anthem.  As this demonstration has progressed over the past few years, it has further caused much controversy and emotions, not only with black lives matter, but now with ALL athletes, black or white.  Pres Trump has called for protesting athletes to be fired, team owners and coaches are calling for unity and everyone is trying to play ball.  I am disappointed at it all.

 Hurricane Harvey hit Houston and other southern Texas cities in August, literally destroying city after city.  The church from our area, has literally sent thousands and thousands of volunteers to help with the clean up every weekend for the past month.

 Mexico suffered 2 earthquakes back to back in the month of September, destroying many cities and causing the death of hundreds of victims, including an elementary school full of little children.

 Hurricane Irma hit Florida and 2-3 other states back to back, then end of September.  Once again, many homes and cities destroyed, more deaths and destruction.

 And following Hurricane Irma, came Hurricane Maria, which hit Puerto Rico, COMPLETELY  destroying the whole island.  It destroyed everything on the island to the point that all missionaries had to be evacuated and sent to other missions, and those citizens still on the island are dying from lack of care and attention by our government.

 And then, just this past weekend, we have the worst US violent attack/killings in Las Vegas Nevada, where during an outdoor country concert, a gun man, in a nearby hotel, shot 1000's of rounds from automatic shotguns and other weapons into the 22,000 concert audience - killing 58 and injuring over 500!!!  He then committed suicide and shot himself. The week has been FILLED with daily news updates as to those surviving, those dying, those escaping the tragedy and those still in shock and traumatized.

 President Trump, since his inauguration in January, has proven, in my mind and opinion, to be one of the worst and most frustrating Presidents of this country.  I can barely stand to hear, on a daily basis, of his stupid decisions, remarks, opinions and controversial actions. Probably most of all, he gives me NO hope, but only despair, for the state of our once very powerful and respected country, which now considered to be the 'joke of the world'.

 Last weekend was our Semi Annual General conference, where it was announced days before, that President Monson would NOT be attending, due to failing health and weakness.  Much love and prayers were offered on his behalf, and he was dearly missed.

And then, it was announced at the beginning of the last session of conference, that our dear Elder Hales, of the quorum of the twelve, had just passed away after the morning session of conference.

These events have all occurred over the past 3-4 months, a long with other huge events in my personal life, all of which have left me...hm..I want to say emotionally exhausted - but it's more than that.  I feel weight - heavy weight upon my mind and heart.  It's not that I am hopeless.  I'm not.  But I am weary and it appears very clear to me, that the Lord is involved in the humbling and refining of His people in this world.  It feels like chaos - but a very planned out chaos - make sense?  To add to these months of NATIONAL disaster, we have also had two ward families affected by 'accidents' of the most terrible life threatening level to where our ward members have been set back on their emotional heels.
I'm trying to internalize the message being sent from the Lord - I'm trying to figure out 'what does this mean' to me???  What do I need to DO? CHANGE? RESOLVE? REPENT OF??
It has caused for many sleepless nights - even tears for those affected personally, and time on my knees in more humble and fervent prayer.  And then my scripture study has been more meaningful as I am currently reading of these exact same circumstances happening to the people of the Book of Mormon.  My studying has been surprisingly connected to the daily events I'm experiencing - answering direct questions and situations I am finding myself in these past few months.  It's almost overwhelming to realize that daily, I am having 'aha' moments and clarity of thought. I have, multiple times, meant to take to blogging these experiences, but have found that they have happened so frequently, that I have lacked time to record them all, so I have ended up recording none.  I'm disappointed at that. 
But one thing I have clearly felt this past week, after some of these last situations have happened, I have been able to pin point the manner in which I need to handle this world around me.  This following thought came to me
'My calm is knowing that soon, my Heavenly Father will say 'it is enough', and He will once again, send us His Son'.