Yes, I know a lot of people, and they know me. You know, the one's you see at church every week and say 'hi' in passing. My co-workers tolerate me on the weekdays but we don't socialize at all out of the office. And my daughters and sisters like me because they HAVE to - we're family. But they wouldn't choose me as a friend if I wasn't.
I'm not very good friend material. I'm not patient with high maintenance people and I tend to be very blunt, sarcastic and very dry sense of humor with everyone. Well, at least I USED to. This year, I've probably changed more than I ever have in the past.. Menopause has left me just a shell of my former self. I have no emotions - no ups and downs - no desires - no fears, pains, joys or expectations. It has truly left me wondering what I do now with this body I have been left with. I have anxiety like never before and have become a complete introvert - I go no-where in a social setting and seldom leave my house but to go to work.
Like I said...not very good 'friend' material.
But I want to be.
So I have decided, after a year in the making, to become good friends with several people - be nice - I mean, REALLY be genuinely NICE to people. I can't be the funny, outgoing, full of energy and life of the party person I used to be years ago, but I can be nice. And kind. Take time to be kind and seek out others needs and wants instead, of my own.
So my New Years Resolution has been chosen...become BFF's with someone...just someone. Maybe even more than just ONE someone, but several 'someone's. You know, the one you go to lunch with - gossip with - laugh with - go on a 'girl's get away 'with -
Someone I can give a necklace to.
