It's Only Getting Better

It;s been 37 years with this wonderful husband of mine and I could NOT be happier.
I am truly blessed.
When I posted these pictures today on facebook, I had several people telling me how much Kylie looks just like me!  I have always thought that she and Jordan looked like Del - but then Kylie posted this picture..

Hm.  I don't know if I see it or not, but most everyone thinks she looks like me. I'll take it though.  She's gorgeous!!!

Del and I have certainly experienced the highest of the highs and the saddest of the lows.  But we've learned and grown from every experience we've had.  We love each other more deeply and completely than ever before and continue to grow towards our goals and ambitions every day.  We've had beautiful children and have beautiful grandchildren.  We've struggled financially through life, physically, spiritually and mentally, but have never abandoned our desire to return to our Father in Heaven as an eternal couple and family.  I admire and respect Del and all that he has done to make sure we are happy.  And I am.

I couldn't be more grateful for my answered prayer of a man I would love and adore all the days of my life.

We're All Dealing with Something

You know, Satan really doesn't care what it is that causes someone to sin or make certain choices.  He's not picky as to what he tempts us with.
He's not hesitant to even try more than one tactic in drawing us away from what we ultimately desire in life and the life hereafter.
He will try anything and everything it takes to keep us from returning to our Father in Heaven.
So, ALL of us are dealing with something in our lives that require us to try harder, have a higher state of awareness of and ultimately repent of .  All of us.
And it seems that whatever that certain temptation is for ME, tends to seem easy to overcome, or not have at all, to another.  The man who does not struggle financially, may have no difficulty in living the law of tithing.  Whereas, the one unemployed or living paycheck to paycheck, may find the law of tithing his greatest vice or temptation to slack on.  It's easy to counsel, 'just pay your tithing and I can promise the Lord will bless you' when you have a savings account and a nice full time job.  Or the 'healthy gym attending work out finatic' who says it's easy to not over eat and put certain things in our body and exercise every day, to the mother who wrestles with 4 children at home as their maid, chef, chauffeur, doctor, teacher, friend and caretaker, trying to eat a half eaten sandwich and chip crumbs left by her 3 yr old at the dinner table.
We're all dealing with something. And some things are little more significant than others.
I mentioned that I was enlightened at family reunion as to some challenges some of my siblings are having and then even some of my nieces and nephews.  Coming from a large family, it probably would have been safe to say that with the numbers, SOMEONE would have been struggling with health issues - or Word of Wisdom issues - or pornography - or activity or testimonies of the gospel.  We are having  several 2nd generation issues with the doctrine of the church to the point that they have chosen to set aside their temple covenants and leave the church at this time.  We have same sex attraction and marriage - drug addiction - premarital sex and not living the Law of Chastity.  We have pornography at the first generation level, divorce and emotional infidelity.  Many of us suffer from depression, anxiety and hormonal imbalances that require medications and almost ALL of us are judgmental, opinionated and unkind in some form or another.
We have issues.  MANY of these issues have been dealt with through the Law of Repentance and the Law of Forgiveness, but many are being dealt with currently amidst much heartache and sorrow.  I have been trying to help one sibling specifically through the pain of her spouse and pornography.
We are of a generation in the church, that those practicing pornography, were either excommunicated or divorced from their spouse.  My sister hurts - feels the complete spectrum of emotions that come with a spouse plagued with the habit of pornography and just doesn't feel ready to move on yet.  I've just recently explained to her the responsibility she has to exercise and implement the Law of Forgiveness as her husband begins the Law of Repentance.  She tends to want to move his process right along, while not feeling she is so ready to forgive him, but 'needs time to handle all of her emotions'.  And she DOES need to process and deal with each emotion in it's appropriate time. 
Of course, not being one that has a spouse dealing with pornography, there I am thinking, 'This should be easy for my sister to want to move on - not be angry, not be hurt, apply the atonement, forgive your husband and live happily ever after.'  My questions tend to be, 'WHY would you want to wallow in being hurt, betrayed, feeling angry etc etc..LET IT GO!'  Then I stop and have to remember, 'we are all going through something'.
Satan would like nothing more than for us all to succumb to our weaknesses and never repent or be forgiven of them.  So he uses the tactics of discouragement, overwhelming pressure to be perfect and complacency to keep our sin very close to our minds.  My greatest desire is to be aware - on high alert, that Satan is never giving up.  He is working 24/7 on me, my family and those I love.  I have to be combating Satan AT LEAST at that same level - 24/7 and with the help from my Savior and the Holy Ghost.  He CAN NOT WIN THIS BATTLE!!!
We're all dealing with something.  Each day, each moment.  So I need to make sure that each day and each moment, I am prepared and armed with what I need to keep Satan at bay - in his appropriate place - gone.

Post Surgery and Reunion

Got home from family reunion on a late Thursday night.  We had 2 Soft Swirlz events on Friday and then one on Saturday night that Del took care of mostly.  I got laundry done and tried to get things ready for the Sabbath, which came with nothing until after church, I started feeling a little run down and my throat started to hurt.  By Sunday night, I was having pain swallowing.
Monday morning, I took Del to the airport early as he was flying to Boston for the week.  I was sick - down in bed.  By Tuesday afternoon, after not eating for two days and sicker than a dog with my
throat, I had to take Ammon and his two kids to the airport, and on the way home, I stopped at an emergency room to be checked.  It was a disaster.  They didn't want to swab my throat - they just wanted to do all these very expensive ct scans and other procedures.  After an hour, I left, refusing any tests or treatment and came home and made an appt to see my doctor the next morning.
By Wednesday morning, I showed up at my doctors office in tears - an emotional wreck and starving to death and in pain - Swab test showed strep throat - I knew that.  Doctor gave me keflex and sent me home to rest.  By that night, I could already swallow and had a popsicle that Lexi brought me.
But Thursday morning, I woke up to THIS - the picture.  My surgical spots were red and swollen, so back into the doctor to find out what was wrong -
Because my soft tissue of the cancer spots was already compromised, the infection had gone there and settled into my face.  I was a mess.  Another two days getting rid of that issue - all with Del in Boston.  When I picked Del up Friday night, he saw no traces of my terrible week.  The doctor said I was to be down though through the weekend, so I Have been.
I'm now recovered from everything.
Quitting my job.
Cancer biopsies.
Facial cancer and surgery.
Family Reunion.
Strep throat and infection.
I feel I have spent most of my 'retirement' in bed or recovering from something that has put me in bed.  I need to get up and going.
Del has a lot on his plate.  Especially with work.  Things are not looking good there.  They are no longer finding value in him as a member of the team.  He's feeling very discouraged and overwhelmed with trials right now.  I need to be more of a help to him.  He hasn't felt a lot of optimism from me the past 5 weeks as I have dealt with health issues.  I need to relieve him of some of his responsibilities here at home and be more of a sounding board for him.  He has a lot going on.

Packard Family Reunion, Wednesday July10 Activities

The last day of family reunion was spent with Del and I being in charge of Emerson's age group.  We made clay crafts with them first, and then we took them all up to the Campsite Homestead, where we saw old cabins and farm machinery.  They also got to ride pretend horses and have races and then actually got to see real horses too.  They were mostly fascinated with all the wild life they chased all over the place.  There was a lot of free time for people to go back and do some tings they had really enjoyed before - tubing, more skating and then also a swimming follies.  Del and I skipped those, as were were tired and needed a nap.
That evening, my mother gave a devotional about her migrating to the USA and her conversion story and meeting daddy.  There was a packed house.
Thursday morning, we were up early and drove the 13 hours home without Jordan and Lexi.  We had some Soft Swirlz responsibilities we had to be back for and didn't want to drag out the trip.
Over all, a great reunion.  Fun memories and fun times - too many to mention.  Learned some information about certain siblings and cousins who may be struggling with certain issues, so will now continue to have them in our prayers.  I was definitely  close with all my sisters - a few distancing moments from some brothers.  No real contention at all, but we are a family with a mirage of personalities and differences of opinions.  We are also very strong willed people.  I chose to distance myself from one or two of those, as I tend to do every time.  This was my first reunion in 10 years.  I've chosen not to go to the others for the exact reasons I had a few awkward situations at this one.  I am not naturally drawn to a few of my siblings .  I don;t know why.  They tend to be contention driven, and I don't seek for those kind of people. I wanted peace.  I found that with those I feel safe with...Becca, Elaine, Rachel..
I'm glad we went though.  I'm especially glad that Jordan and his family went too.  I think they really enjoyed it..So, it looks like our next reunion will be in 3 years from now.  Hopefully Kathryn and Kylie will want to come this next time with their families too.

Packard Family Reunion, Tuesday July 9th Activities

Tuesday morning was spent with Emerson's group doing the rockets that Uncle Mark, Uncle Garth and cousin Jim had prepared.  The kids made all the rockets first, and then went outside where they were launched off.  It was a hit!!!!
In the afternoon, we all went to the ice tubing hill where yes, even Nana went down the hill with Emerson.  But it was mostly Emerson going with any parent he could find.  Evie went down once with Lexi and did great until the very end when she started to cry.
It was a fun filled, every moment of the day packed with some type of activity and exhausting.  Most of the adults were ready for bed by the time dinner was over but managed to stay awake for another good 3-4 hours of game playing.
A lot of pictures were taken today - 4 generation pictures, sisters w/ mom pictures etc...

Packard Family Reunion Monday July 8 Activities

Monday began the official activities of family reunion.  The mornings were split up into age group classes, with Emerson falling into the 5-7 yr olds.  Oh he made a lot of friends!!! There were cousins everywhere for him to play with. Del and I spent the first morning in the nursery and so we have Evie and some other real little ones.  It was such a fun time having the 2nd generation bring their little kids into us and then watching and observing their behavior, giving us some insight into their parenting skills.  Such sweet little children.
The afternoon was spent with the main activity being roller skating for the whole group.  THat was a blast!  Of course, my camera focused mainly on my little grandchildren and family but it was fun to see everyone at various ages, attempting to roller skate.
Games were being played everywhere and at all times.  You could see a group here and a group there of card games, little kids playing and adults conversing.  The evenings activities always had a nightly devotional based around the theme of 'Love my Tribe'.  Debbie and Jim were in charge of those evening activities, which were marvelous!!

 Around the campfire later that first night, we enjoyed singing, samores and just a lot of getting re-acquainted with family that we hadn't literally seen in years.  I visited, of course, with my sisters and my brother Mark a little - 2nd generation cousins reconnected and started developing bonds and then adults went off to discuss solving the worlds problems.  It was just all so relaxing.
By the end of the evening, all were exhausted but content with how the day had gone.