Once a Parent, Always a Parent

It never ends. We give birth to them and experience the pains of childbirth, then we go through years and years of nurturing, teaching, struggling with our own level of confidence in knowing how to parent these priceless children, hoping that above all else, we teach them what they need to know to be able to stand with a firm testimony when making eternal covenants to return to a loving and patient Heavenly Father.
Was that a long sentence? Well, it's a long process...a process that I am just learning with which we are never finished. But that's a good thing. I love my children. I have loved the joys, struggles, fun memories and heartaches that we have experienced in a parent/child relationship.
As young children, Del was the better parent. He was much more patient in the teaching and setting the example for that stage in their lives. I was more the 'change the diaper', 'get them where they needed to be and when they needed to be there', 'meet all their TEMPORAL needs' parent.
Now, we have switched roles a little. I am now the parent that they need...not to say they don't NEED Del, but they relate better to me in their teenage years. This is a daunting task. Del struggles with having patience with them right now while I am much more understanding and patient of their needs and wants.
But then the balance comes in. There has never been a time or situation where both of us as parents have not been needed. The Lord never intended for our children to only have one parent...so AS parents, we have to see our role in each situation.
We have learned over the years when it has been necessary for one parent to take the lead over the other parent in certain situations. I tend to be more patient and understanding of my son Jordan while Del seems to have a special connection with Kylie that I can't seem to find with her. It continues now into their adult years. Then Kathryn was RAISED by her daddy because I didn't have the patience or the desire to answer the MILLION and one questions she had EVERY day of her life. She thrived on learning - so Del told her stories - from the Book of Mormon, from the Bible, from HIS childhood and then one's he just made up. Our children relished the time Del spent with them, playing with them, tossing them in the air, teaching them skills and their nightly going to bed rituals. They have never forgotten those moments with their dad.
Now, as older children, they don't NEED that part of their parents anymore - they want someone to listen to THEM now..they want some independence to now put into practice all that their parents have taught them. They want to test the waters and see how they can swim. They want to SOAR after being taught how to fly.
That's the hardest part about the gospel principle of 'teaching them correct principles and let them govern themselves'. So difficult...It's our parental instinct to rescue them from consequences or possibilities of pain and disappointment. And as they get even older and their choices and decisions become even more important in the eternal realm of things, it's almost impossible to step back and become only a cheerleader and observer in this stage of their lives.
But, that is exactly what we must do. Not to abandon them, but to allow them the learning process of obedience and receiving the blessings of that obedience, OR the making of an unwise choice and the consequences that they may have to suffer because of that choice.
As young children and even into their teenage years, it may seem simple enough to raise these spirits in the gospel. But then, as their teenage years arrive and they begin to have opinions and ideas of their own is when I feel the special need of my Heavenly Fathers CONSTANT guidance - the promptings from the Holy Ghost become the most important communication I have all day and the youth leaders in the ward and stake become the lifeline to both my children and Del and I surviving another day.
I will always be Jordan, Kylie and Kathryn's mother. I may not always be their friend, or best example of righteousness, or the one they turn to in a time of crisis.
But, I will always be a parent - their parent - their mother. My calling as their mother is eternal. Some days, that seems like a VERY long time.
And then other days, it doesn't seem near long enough.
Today is one of those days...not near long enough.