Reunited

These three became fast friends when we moved here to Texas. Of course, Jordan is my son - the one in the middle is Ryan, son of my cousin Meredith and then there's Austin, who is son of my cousin Wendee. All three left on their missions within mostly a year of each other. Jordan was the first to go, returning 10 months ago, then Austin returned in February and Ryan just came home last Thursday. Tonight we had a family get together where they had a great time getting reacquainted. Good men - all three of them. Ryan will be going up to BYU Utah while Jordan and Austin will be returning to BYU Idaho together. They will leave next week, driving the trip together.
I'm excited for this next semester for Jordan. He is going to have a LOT of cousins and friends up there. I hope he will cling to them and get to know them even better. He will be even a better person than he is now if he will watch them and learn some great attributes from them - mostly, how to socialize.
Exciting times ahead for him.

"Senior Year Baby"

Tomorrow is the first day of school. This has been four years in the making with above friends, Alex and Erica. This should be Kathryn's Junior year, but it's not. Kathryn has always hated school, since she was in Middle school. So she, and fellow friends Alex and Erica, decided they would graduate the earliest they possibly could...so they have completely skipped their Junior year and you read it right, it's 'Senior Year Baby' as she said today!!! And she couldn't be more excited.
Alex and Erica have been good friends, for the most part. They have made some different choices than Kathryn is some areas, but they have never pressured her to make decisions they knew would be against her moral code. Most often, she has been able to be a good role model for them and an influence for good. There have been some heart breaking moments though where they have made decisions that required her to keep her distance from them and she has felt so betrayed and alone. But over the years, they have all had very forgiving hearts and loyal relationships that have helped their friendship be strong. I have been very impressed on several occasions on how Kathryn has had to handle some very difficult situations and how her beliefs and testimony have helped her to be strong.
Her schedule for her Senior year has changed anywhere from 3-4 times - early release, late arrival, college classes, on line classes, working after school - but now, the day before her Senior year starts, we finally have it finalized...She wasn't going to train this year...trainer being a member of the medical staff with the coaches for the athletic teams - but the two main medical coaches came to her and asked her to do it another year. So she accepted - change of schedule again. But she loves it...so she will have a good year.
Tonight, she went to the Seminary orientation for the new year. Instead of going with the Senior class, she chose to stay with her Junior class friends. I was pleased with her decision. I think she will feel more comfortable with them. I am thrilled that she has such a great attitude about Seminary this year. That's not to say that she won't have her moments of not waking up and skipping class, BUT, she's certainly going into the year with a new attitude. I can't ask for more.
So, we have Senior pictures to schedule - and Senior events to sign up for - a few other things to finalize and she'll be full swing into her final year of high school. Del is giving her a father's blessing tonight...she asked. Sigh!
My baby is all grown up!!

My Kids Having Fun

They sure know how to have fun... I love seeing them together...

Mark Came to Play

Mark Roberts is here from Utah visiting for a week...and he brought a friend. His girlfriend is Alison and she seems to be a really nice girl. What's funny about the whole thing, is she feels SHE is the third wheel in the above relationship. She was saying how yes, she is Mark's girlfriend, but Jordan is his boyfriend and he's never really happy unless Jordan is around. I had to laugh. They do seem closer than ever.
Mark brought Alison over to the house for me to meet her and so we had them play games with us for the evening. It was lots of fun. Jordan had told me just a little bit about her - and how he felt she really wasn't he expected Mark to fall for, but that they somehow seem to really like each other. Jordan is okay with it as long as Mark is happy. She's pretty strong willed but Mark seems to have a handle on the whole thing.
So we had a very enjoyable evening...it's nice to see Mark so happy - with both his girlfriend AND his boyfriend. A lot of funny memories talked about...
This week is going to be crazy...week before school starts - BUSY at work - busy for Kathryn working in the mornings and then doing sports training in the afternoon and evening. Del and I are working 10 hour days this whole week. I'll be dead by Thursday night. Oh well. And Jordan is just winding down with his Living Scriptures sales and then going to get ready to move on up to Idaho. The time has passed quickly - then it won't be until Christmas that we see him again. Thank heavens for holidays.

Until They Have Children of Their Own....

....my children will never understand that as a parent, you don't have a favorite and you don't love any one of them over another.
Right now, and for the past I don't know how long, the girl's have thought Jordan is my favorite. Jordan is my only son. He's the only one that has been away from home for any length of time...he's the only one who hasn't been HIGH HIGH maintenance at some time in his life. He's pretty lay ed back and does things at his own pace and in his own way...he doesn't COMPARE his life to that of his sisters.
My three kids???
Okay - there's Jordan....he's the only one I have ever 'worried' about. As a parent, you tend to worry about 'the one' you can't watch over yourself. So while on his mission, I worried about him. While he was away at school, I worried about him. While he was in Oregon, I worried about him. And when he goes away to school again in a couple of weeks, I will once again, worry about him. I guess in the girls eyes, that makes him my favorite. No, he only causes me the most worry. But they won't understand that. He's never wanted 'things' - just acceptance. he has never really NEEDED me in his life except when he is lonely or needs to be understood. Otherwise, I think I'm an inconvenience to him. So I have tried to learn to 'be there only when he needs me' and step back when he is feeling confident and secure. I'm his 'security blanket'.
Then Kylie - she's the one I have enjoyed raising the most - I have bought her more clothes, given her more things, attended most if not all her sporting events, hoped and had more dreams for, been most involved in her life etc than my other children. I have literally lived vicariously through Kylie's life since age 14 or so. I made sure she had everything I ever wanted and didn't have. I encouraged her in church, school , love life, personal life and everything else..but Kylie's a 'material' child. It's always been 'things' that have made her happy, not ME or my time. She has always had a testimony and never questioned the gospel - she has always been 'the pretty one' and been able to do and get what she wants. She's not had very many struggles in life. She likes me more as a girlfriend than her mother.
And finally, Kathryn. Kathryn is the strongest - strongest body, strongest mind, strongest will and strongest determination. She's ALWAYS been the one to not care what anyone else thinks - she's my most honest child even in her areas of weakness. She knows she has struggled with her testimony and the gospel - she knows where she needs to improve, but she has always been one that will do it in her own time and in her own way. As far as I know, she has never lied to me -she has never needed to; she tells me most everything. She's been the most difficult to have a relationship with, and yet, we have the best relationship of all. She loves me as her mother... a devoted child - makes the best choices because she thinks them through before acting upon them. - good common sense.

So as you can see, each child is different. And I feel about each one of them differently at different times. They have different needs at different times and in different ways. But I have NEVER loved any one of them over another... During Jordan's mission, his need was more pressing...when Kylie married, her need was more important. Kathryn has had more privileges than the other two because she's been the last.
Each of them has had their NEEDS met...and MANY of their wants. We have done for each of our children everything we possible could or should do...Have they done without many things? Yes, as compared to worldly things. Sometimes, one has been more grateful than another. I guess one of my biggest disappointments would be the lack of gratitude my children show towards things we 'give' them or allow them to have. I tend to feel that they don't appreciate the effort made to make sure they have had in their lives, everything we have provided...it's been more an attitude of 'expecting it'.... I paid for my own mission - my own college and I never had a car...whatever I had, I paid every cent for it. My children have not had to do that. They have always had their needs met.
Well - the jest of it all???? I can't wait for them to be parents of children of their own. I have heard enough of the 'I'm never going to allow my kids to do this' or 'I will never give my kids this or that' 'I will never say that to my kids'...and ALL the hundreds of other things they have said they will or will not do in the raising of their perfect children that won't have an unhappy moment in their lives.
It's at that time that I will enjoy the moments of only being the observant 'grandmother' of these perfectly raised grandchildren.
It will be a momentous time...one for the history books.
But until then...I guess I will continue to try and be a good mom. Some days I FAIL miserably - and some days, I guess I do okay. And then honestly, there are going to be days that I just don't care if they like me that day or not. They'll have to get over it.
Obviously, it will be a 'day to day' experience, just as it is for all moms around the world.
So tomorrow? It's just another day.

A Close Call with Divine Intervention

On her way to the High School this morning, Kathryn was in a car accident - she got caught on the shoulder of the road and over corrected herself, rolling the car 4 times and then going 55 MPH into a tree..
She is a medical trainer at the school for the sports teams and so she was on her way to football practice. I was still in bed...Del was already awake and had started his day. She called Del and the both of us drove to the scene and arrived before the ambulance, police and fire dept. We were stunned by the look of the car, but found Kathryn to have crawled out of the passenger side of the car and sitting on the side of the road. She was in shock - crying, of course, and apologizing for the car. We were shocked she was alive. I had no doubt she had been in her seat belt - she always is. It, along with our Father in heaven, are what kept her alive.
We noticed the bumps and scratches...cuts from the glass that were all over her body - but she informs us she had already 'assessed' her injuries, using as much of her limited medical training education she could remember. She determined she had no broken bones and as 'far as she could SEE, her eyes weren't dilated'. I giggled. She was sure she was okay. But one look at the car and the police and paramedics insisted she be transported to the hospital, of which I completely agreed. So, off she went in the ambulance.
Del took a few minutes to determine the 'details of the scene' as he went back to trace the skid marks, pieces of car scattered for over 100 yards and the car wrapped around a large tree. He just shook his head expressing his amazement at the fact his daughter was still alive. She shouldn't have been - no air bags deployed, she was tossed into several surfaces and hit her head multiple times here and there.
At the hospital, she had xrays that found no broken bones, slight concussion and then had staples put into a gash she had on her ankle. She was good to go.
I'm down playing a LOT of the details and emotions...mainly because I'm probably experiencing a little shock of my own. She SHOULD be dead...Kathryn could very easily have been dead at this moment instead of in her room resting peacefully with some bumps, bruises and cuts on her body.
Tender mercies and a family that loves her and the Lord very much.
I have a very emotional, yet grateful heart.

No Title

No one came to Jordan's 'Living Scripture' Party tonight. I was embarrassed, humiliated and all around devastated. Why???
I guess it's....well, you hope you're liked by people...you hope you have friends...you hope that you mean something to someone...But when it really comes down to it, we are totally and completely dependant on just our families...those that we know are the only one's we can truly turn to for unconditional love and support.
Some had to choose tonight where to be and who to support, but I feel bad that one got is all and one got none of it. I'm 50 years old and I know it shouldn't hurt, but boy, it does...to realize that I truly have no bond or friendship with anyone beyond my own family.
But in the eternal perspective of things, that's all that matters. It just gets lonely sometimes.
Please, no comments....