Staying Focused

It's been a little , shall we say, stressful? the past few days making some adjustments in the being here in Utah.  I'm here for several reasons...One, first and foremost, to visit my daddy and mother...next, to visit some friends and family up here, and lastly, to enjoy some personal time before I go back to work and my family in Texas.
I have not wanted to be my daddy's nurse, and I have made that very clear from the very beginning.  I have wanted to watch his care and progress, see his situation and get first hand information for myself, and then also to help take care of the needs for my mother.  I have left the nursing duties and details to those who enjoy doing that part and I have taken it upon my self to have dinner made and ready for those coming home from the care facility to enjoy instead of having to eat out.  I like to go spend the morning with my daddy, but I can't stay there all day.  There is no need for me to sit there 'watching' him.  My mom having a hot meal to eat when she comes home is more fulfilling to me.
I have never been the serious one in the family.  I enjoy humor...I love to laugh, I love to make people laugh, and I like to handle stressful situations with humor.  But not all people do.  So, my attempt at a humorous email giving family members an update on my daddy, did not go over well with a few.  I was apparently, not giving the situation enough dignity.  Yes, I was stung by the disapproval at first, until I realized, I am who I am, and I am a good person.  I will not apologize for being who I am.  So those who disapprove will just have to have to get their information from someone else because I will not change how I see and enjoy my life.  I can't and won't let their opinions matter to me.  I can and know when to be somber and dignified.  They are not always in the same moments as others may think they need to be, but they are there when necessary. Hence, my nasty mood yesterday.  I am re-focused now on what is important...and others opinions is not one of them.
I'm getting a cold.  Last night it was yucky during the night, so I tanked up on some cold meds to get me through, but it also had me sleeping until 9:30 this morning.  I can't go see daddy with a cold as he will be susceptible to any virus and that is the last thing he needs.  So I am staying away from his place today until I start to feel better.  Elaine and mother went in to see him and Elaine mentioned a few hours later that daddy's room had been changed.  When I asked why, it was because daddy had been found early this morning on the floor of his room.  Obviously, he is NOT understanding the mandate that he is not supposed to get up by himself without the assistance of a nurse.  And he can't afford to fall at this point.  So they put him closer to the nurses station where he will be more 'compelled' to be obedient.  Elaine has branded today one of daddy's 'bad days' - nothing he says make sense, he's aggravated, confused and disoriented.  I'm glad I'm not seeing him in this state.  I would cry, and I don't want to cry.
So I am here at mom's house, going to get dinner going shortly and taking some time to write some letters and notes to people in Texas.
Until Later...