Angels Among Us

Some years, it doesn't affect me at all.  But then, there are other years, like this one, where my mind and thoughts have been a lot on Michael's passing 29 years ago. Part of it has been that I was asked to share his story in Relief Society yesterday, and I have spent the past few weeks thinking about what I might say; not wanting to share anything just to share, but to share what I felt my Heavenly Father wanted me to share with the sisters...for a reason, not just for drama.  The story is dramatic enough in and of itself.  But I didn't want drama.  I wanted the message of the true meaning of Christmas to be shared.
After an extremely stressful week, I wasn't feeling 100% when I woke up for church yesterday.  I had a large cold  sore on my lower lip that had appeared the day before and I was feeling heavy in the chest.  Maybe a cold - maybe just a heavy heart.  I don't know why.  Maybe just the let down after a week of adrenaline rush of busyness - but all in all, I was dragging.  I got to church late to top things off.  Not good for the Bishops wife.
When Relief Society started, I felt a peace and was pensive when it was my turn to share my story.  It went well. I was very matter of fact - kind of non-emotional - until I spoke of my Savior being born - a baby - Michael a baby - the celebrating of the birth of a baby, an my life now, forever remembering the death of mine.  The meaning of Christmas was now forever changed for me.
The sisters understood as I told them this year was a little more difficult for me, only because I was being forced to think of it - analyze it - remember it.  It's not painful.  It's only empty of his presence.  A lot of Christmas is filled with other things now, but his his little place remains empty.  That empty space tends to leave me longing for a feeling - a warmth - a filling of the emptiness.  The sisters understood as they cried with me.
Work was a little 'empty' today.  I had a lot of time to think of what day it was.  The day seemed to take forever to end...and I got home about 45 minutes later than usual.  On the kitchen table, was a gift and card addressed to me.  I opened the card first - from a sweet sweet friend in the ward, Colleen Newton.  Her words of comfort and love were perfect - tender and kind.  The gift was a Christmas tree made by blue buttons that she had sewn on to a canvas - then framed.  It was beautiful.
Del I decided to watch some BYU volleyball that we had taped over the weekend when the doorbell rang.  The Stewart Family.  They are new in the ward of about 6 months.  They have 6 children and are building a new home just down the street from us.  The dad is a musician and has a beautiful voice.  He and I sang with Del and Kylie for the ward Christmas party and he is the conductor of the Millennial Choir in Dallas.  His wife, Mindy, is one of our newly called Relief Society teachers.  She is expecting their 7th child.  They sang to us, we invited them in, and then they asked us to join them singing 'Silent Night'.  I couldn't make it through the song.  They gave us a gift and told us to put it in the freezer until later tonight.  They wanted to see the pictures of Michael - we shared pictures and story and after a 30 minute visit, they left.  As they left, the Burton family arrived.  Brandon Burton is Del;s first counselor in the Bishopric.  I sit with his wife Sarah and their four children every Sunday.  They came and brought a gift and then we visited for about an hour.  While they were here, another ring at the door had the Pond family arriving.  They have 5 children, all of whom call me Nana.  Dylan is the Young Men's President.  We have done quite a few things with their family and we just love them.  They arrived with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for our dinner table.  We all visited and let the kids play until 30 minutes later, everyone left.
It was once again, quiet.  But I wasn't empty anymore.  I was filled - with a heart full of love and thankfulness for angels who had come to feel the empty spot that this mother had been feeling over the past few days.  I was so grateful for these kind kind people who brought their families and love to my home and filled our home with the spirit of Christmas.  The true meaning of Christmas.