I WILL NOT Succumb

Since April of last year, this black hole has tried to suck me deep into it's grasp.
Too many times, I was just inches from it's edge.
A few times I was even ready to just dive in head first.
I have fought every angle there is to overcoming the past year of my life...sometimes with minimal success but most times with no success at all. It has been a continual 'one step forward, three steps back'. I have felt totally and completely a failure when it has come to 'moving on' from what I have now appropriately and officially labeled my 'mid life crisis.' I have never 'cleansed' myself of all that last year included and have only just recently taken the final steps to purge my life of 'all things in my past'.
But I have now...
So, I'm feeling capable of tackling some important issues.
I've gained ten pounds back over the past 6 months. I can't explain how disappointing that is for me. I have been an emotional wreck over family issues, work issues, financial issues and personal issues that I have eaten myself into oblivion!!! So, back to discipline...walking, eating habits etc...I no longer have the same motivation I did to lose the weight as last year, but I have BETTER reasons now.
So, effective immediately, I'm back to NO junk food. Walking every day; hard. Taking care of my body - hair, make up and figure.
I have a temple recommend...need one final signature on it and I'm back. I haven't been to the temple since Jordan's wedding. I haven't been worthy. But I am now. Back to prayers...back to scriptures. Back to NEEDING my Heavenly Father first and foremost in my life. I will NEVER be anything without this vital step first.
At the same time that I am taking time for myself in certain areas, I need to totally engross myself in my future with my family. I think I've said this before, but never implemented the changes. Effective immediately, my life is my family.
No black hole for me. I WILL not be sucked in. I WILL not lose this battle.
I will win because I am now playing on the winning team.
Effectively immediately, I am....Marlys Packard Lott....daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me...and I love Him.