A Trip of Mixed Expectations

I'm going to Utah tomorrow.
I haven't been to Utah in 16 months and the last trip I took, changed my life....forever.
This time though, I have some unknown expectations.
I'm going to see my parents.
I don't talk about my parents much in my blog because I know my mother reads it....and I don't want her being upset or telling my father things she reads or knows I feel.  So I write about them in another place that is just for my reading only.
To say that my daddy's health has declined over the past few years is an understatement.  Parkinsons Disease has wreaked havoc on his body and his abilities and the changes are noticeable and rapidly going down hill.  Last year, when I was in Utah in April, his condition was mild and in it's initial phases of change.  I was able to see the tremors in his hands and the slightness of his drooping shoulders.  The beginnings of a  shuffling walk were almost not noticeable except when he was tired and his mind was still quick and alert.
In February of this year, my parents came to Texas for the baby blessings of two of Elaine's grandchildren.  This is when i noticed a significant change in my daddy's health.  He was slower, much more limited in his hand movements and walking abilities and had to be assisted several times in his eating of his meals.  I was devastated to see him like that.  I had several lengthy conversations with him at that time and was glad to see he still had some spunk left in him, but also noticed how quickly he 'tired' and needed to excuse himself from the family to take the occasional afternoon nap.
Kylie went to California just two months later to be the photographer at her cousin Michelle's wedding.  My daddy performed the ceremony.  Kylie's report when she returned was disappointing.  Apparently, daddy was worsening as each month went by and he was not doing well with traveling to weddings, baby blessings and other occasions.  Elaine went up to Utah in June and reported that daddy was having his good days and his bad days and they were starting to crossover each other.  I asked both Elaine and Rebecca if they felt I needed to take a trip to Utah before the one I was planning in September.  Both said 'no', but they also felt I shouldn't prolong it any later either.
So I leave tomorrow.
Mom says not to expect daddy to die while I'm there. I was relieved.
But Del's step mom said the same thing to Del when he went up to see his father 2 yrs ago in October and his father passed away in his arms.
I don't know what to expect.  I'm told to expect even more changes that I have imagined.  Mom says he will be in bed a lot.  I plan to take pictures of every moment I'm there so as to have memories to bring back with me.  I'm afraid it won't be much longer after this.  But this trip will help me determine that expectation.
I'm hopeful and tend to put 'reality' in it's own little corner.  I do not want the 'reality' of the situation to blind me from my hope and optimism. I fear reality will visit my world soon enough.
There will be much family to see while I'm there.  I don't want to neglect any of them and I certainly want to be accessible to siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews.  But I want to be where my memories are needing to be made.  I don't want to leave Utah with ANY regrets this time.
Not my expectation of this trip.