We're Doing This Again!

Twenty little ladies sitting in their box.
At least, I HOPE they're all ladies.  Sometimes, a slight mistake gets made and down the road, we end up with a rooster.
Ammon and Del went out last night and picked out the 20 girls and brought them home.  Ammon is super excited to have these chickens.  They will stay in the boxes for about 4 weeks or so, and then when Kathryn and Ammon move in here in the beginning of October, we will then move the girls over to the coop.  And hopefully, in about 6 months, we'll have some eggs!!  That's the part I love the most...the eggs.
I can't wait for all the grandkids to come over and meet the chicks.  Hopefully, we'll end up with some crazy names for each of them!

Powerful Lesson to be Learned

We were told about 4 weeks ago that our stake was going to be split.  When it was announced, Del and I both expressed, to each other only, that somehow, Del would be involved.  But he was not even on the list of priesthood brethren to be interviewed.  Because Del has been involved in the process several times in the past, he knows, that generally, the current stake presidency, high council, and current bishops of the wards, are interviewed as possible new stake presidents.  So Del considered himself not even 'on the radar' for this possible change.  But I mentioned to him that if he were to be the new stake president, that the Lord would not care who is on the list.
Over the 4 weeks, we continued with our daily routines, but in our prayers, would express to the Lord that Del was willing to serve wherever the Lord wanted him to be, and that he was living a life of pure service to the Lord.  I was feeling strongly of the fact Del would be called to the stake presidency, even to the point I felt I had received a spiritual witness and confirmation as such.  Del was not as sure as I was, but did give some thought to possible situations if he was.  But he did NOT act on any of his feelings but to continue his spiritual learning and daily ministering and going about his business.
This past week, we both felt pretty strongly of an upcoming calling.  It was substantiated even more so when Del received an email from the stake executive secretary, inviting Del to be among those interviewed on Saturday by the visiting General Authorities.  That basically sealed the deal for me.  I began to imagine some things I would do, who I would notify first, and how it was going to affect some of our future decisions and plans for our lives.
Saturday morning came - we had attended the temple earlier in the week and had prayer that morning together where I once again, was prompted strongly by the spirit that the result of Del's interview, would be a call back later with me accompanying him to receive the call of stake president for the new stake.
Del returned from his interview about an hour after he had left.  He said he felt 'non feeling' and that actually, the decision had already been made before he even arrived.  I was confused and then even more so, when he mentioned some others who were also there to be interviewed.  None of them would have been on the 'normal list' of brethren.
We spent the next three hours waiting for the phone call.  When we realized it wasn't going to come, then Del changed his clothes and went out to mow the lawn.  Prior, he had remained in his suit ready to return.
This is when the Lord taught ME the powerful lesson I was to learn that day.  Del wasn't upset - not mad, not confused and not disappointed.  His comment was - 'Marlys, it doesn't matter where the Lord uses me, just that he DOES use me'.  In fact, he was even relieved that he would still be right where he is at, ministering to specific individuals in our ward and stake that have really come to rely and depend on his one on one service to them.  Apparently, to Del, the Lord does not need Del to be the stake president.  But I was wanting Del to be the stake president so he would finally have a platform to teach and administer to the stake the important things Del knows about the gospel.
Of course, I am the one who had all the feelings that Del did NOT.  I felt I had received a direct witness, thus indicating that I felt betrayed and deceived from the Lord.  'Why wouldn't the Lord just tell me 'NOT AT THIS TIME MARLYS' and then have no promptings, no feelings and no interview for me to become hopeful from?  I cried - I even expressed all these emotions and feelings to Del with a tinge of anger and disappointment.  He tried to calm my soul and tell me that, Yes, he had had some specific feelings also, but realized in was just not the time and he had moved on with peace and calm..  But he was understanding of my feelings and resentment.
We were able to pretty much figure out who the new stake president would be - a counselor in the current presidency , who had been interviewed at the beginning of the day.  I expressed to Del that I felt the GA's had made the 'easy' or 'logical' choice instead of waiting for everyone to be interviewed. Yes, I was bitter.  Can you tell?  Well, if you can't, Del could.
He told me he understood some of my confusion and disappointment, considering I had felt a spiritual witness of the upcoming events.  He did not try to refer to the impressions without allowing my experience to be validated.  But he, in no uncertain terms, said that he had no doubt the Lord was aware of each situation and that who needed to be called as stake president WOULD BE CALLED, and he did not doubt it.
I was humbled.  Still felt snubbed, but humbled.  I still cried that night too, and stayed up wallowing in my disappointment.  In my prayers that night, I did tell the Lord that I was struggling - REALLY struggling with what I had felt were spiritual witnesses to the fact Del would be the new stake president, if not one of the counselors.  When that did not happen, I told the Lord all the feelings of betrayal, deceit and confusion I was feeling - and asked why I had been allowed to experience what I had experienced over the past week?  I did not want to attend conference the next morning because I was sure I would not feel anything and I was afraid of whom might be the counselors and if I felt they would be worth of the calling.  I was really afraid I would not be able to sustain my new stake priesthood leaders.
Yesterday morning, I awoke and showered and dressed for stake conference. I was feeling stirrings of the spirit and actually tried to suppress them so I could remain annoyed.  But the closer it came to getting ready to leave, my heart was feeling light - calm - and yes, peaceful.  I felt this rush of extreme assurance that things were going to be okay.  A lot of my personal emotions of the day previous, were melting away from my heart.  I was beginning to feel hopeful, optimistic and even joyful.  I was no longer questioning my previous weeks promptings and spiritual witnesses, but recognizing them as a gift  from my Savior of some very spiritual memories I will always cherish.  I was able to set aside ALL my negative feelings and thoughts, and give gratitude to the Lord for the spirit that had attended me that whole week.  The result of those experiences were not what I thought they would be, but the experiences themselves, were true and validated.  I had them.  I felt them and I would be grateful for them. 
Stake conference went as planned.  Our new stake president is exactly who we thought it would be.  And the counselors are men we have known and loved and will be a wonderful  support to our new stake president.  I was overwhelmingly pleased.  Each man spoke - from both the old stake presidency and then from the new stake presidency.  Our new president was last to speak.  And I was joyfully assured, that he was truly the new president that our Father in Heaven wanted to lead our stake.  His words were profound, filled with humility and love, and he shared a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel that my soul needed to hear.  I truly received a spiritual witness to the truthfulness of his calling.
And I thanked my Heavenly Father.  I thanked Him for his patience with me and the desire he had to teach me a glorious lesson in understanding that HE truly is in charge - and that I don't need to question Him.  I leaned over to Del and expressed my joy to him.  He said he could see it.
It had been painful in moments to question the Lord.  But the joy was equal to the pain when I was able to realize that I never have the need to question the Lord again.
We are now members of the new Little Elm Texas Stake.
.

He Did Speak Peace to My Soul

Since January, Del and I have had a whole new focus in our lives through the directive of the First Presidency in studying and following the 'Come Follow Me' manual and study guide.  It has brought a whole new dimension to my personal life and to our marriage of which I never imagined possible.  In the past, I have not really liked studying the scriptures and having doctrinal discussions with Del because I have felt so inadequate and less knowledgeable of Gospel principles that I just didn't enjoy it.  But I promised myself in January, when we started the new program, that I was going to be humble and desirable of all things Del could teach me.  I want to learn.  I want to understand.  And I WANT DEL to be the one to teach me.  With this attitude, I have been overwhelmed by the spirit Del has with him and the ability he has to reach my heart and my head in learning about the Gospel.  He is truly a scholar of the scriptures.  He LOVES them.  And he is able to help me LOVE them too.  Each week, as we study the New Testament, Del shares insight of scriptural references that I would never see or understand.  He also allows me to share and express what few things I DO understand and the spirit I DO feel from my studies.  He likes my point of view - he values my thoughts.  It has certainly drawn us closer together as we study the words of the Savior and the prophets.  In allowing Del to be my mentor and companion, the Lord has given me peace now and an enjoyment in my learning.
I will never feel as Del's equal, but I can be equal to his desires in learning more and allowing the teachings to touch our souls and minds.

A Missionary Moment

Del and I had the opportunity to go with the sister missionaries this past week to give the first discussion to a man named Chad.  They had met Chad at Taco Bell, and after a small discussion with him and interest shown on his part, they set up a first discussion with him for Wednesday night.  Our ward is the biggest ward in the stake and the missionaries had already used up a lot of their miles on their car, and so needed us to drive them to Chad's house.  And it was WAY out there, like on the borderline of our ward boundaries.
It took us about 20 minutes to get there.  Can you say 'out in the way yonder'??  Dirt roads, no neighbors - very much 'Little House on the Prairie' feel to everything - cows, chickens, horses, goats, hay bales, half standing sheds and tractors - it was as close to 'Redneck' as could be, without being rude.
Chad was out on the front porch smoking a cigarette while waiting for us to arrive.  As we pulled up to the gated front, Del had to get out of the truck, open the gate, drive through, stop and close the gate and then drive up to the farm. Chad looked happy to see us.  He seemed like a nice guy - late 30's maybe to mid forties - I don't know.  It was hard to tell, as I could see that his 'outside' job of being a tree trimmer had tanned his skin and made him appear a little more 'worn' than he might actually be.  After some introductions from the sister missionaries as to who Del and I were, Chad introduced us to his family - the animals.  About 5 horses, 8-10 cows, chickens etc - mostly what we had seen driving up to the house.  When those were done, Chad took us inside.
A bachelor place - no real furniture less than 20 years old and at that, only the basics. The big tv was the newest thing in the house.  With any time or TLC, it could be made to look real nice - but after Chad explained that he and his wife are separated, his 18 year old son lives in his bedroom in the back, and his 13 year old daughter lives with her mother half the year, I understood that the TLC and any amount of attention had been put on the back burner. It was only livable.
The sister missionaries sat on the very old worn out leather love seat, while Del and I sat next to Chad on the matching worn out  leather couch.  The sister missionaries started the discussion with a word of prayer and then dove right in to the Restoration of the Gospel.  I was an observer, flashing back to my missionary days.  I even found myself saying part of the discussion in Spanish in my head.  I watched as they took turns presenting certain concepts and gospel principles.  Chad asked questions - Del helped answer a few - I even shared some thoughts and then of course, the sisters shared some of their thoughts also.
There had been a few interruptions in the discussion of thoughts Chad had about certain things in life - about HIS Bible that he had been reading - about TRUTH and how the Father testifies of truth through the spirit.  There had even been a few humorous moments as Chad would share some pretty 'redneck' comments - the sisters and I would exchange some looks of 'is this really happening' looks like it would only happen in the movies kind of look.
Sister Wendover was  explaining the First Vision, and had just started with quoting Joseph Smith's words about seeing the Father and the Son, when something pounded on the front door, and it came flying open right next to my corner of the couch.  I was startled and turned to see Ramsey enter the room - Ramsey is, of course....a goat.  Scared me nearly to death, but not nearly close enough that I didn't quickly look to the surprised sisters and we bust out laughing.  A GOAT!!!!  Chad was immediately to his feet chasing the goat from the kitchen, through the front room and eventually back out the front door; the whole time with me and the sisters suppressing giggles and outright full laughter at the thought of them writing home on P-day sharing this experience.
After another 20 minutes or so and the conclusion of the discussion and the challenge to Chad to read the beginning of the Book of Mormon and praying about it, we concluded our visit.  We went out to the front porch again, where I of course, wanted a picture of Ramsey to document the moment.  Sister Walker had the idea of a photo - op of her teaching the discussion to a 'golden' contact, Molly - the cow. 
The whole experience was one for the books.  We laughed all the way home talking about it.  I was grateful for the opportunity and the memory.  I found joy in being with the missionaries and was glad that there had been a very strong feeling of the spirit, mixed with a lot of humor and joy.

Grandkids First Day of School

I love these kids so much and am so excited for their first day of school.
Aren't they the cutest??
Kylie's picture is hilarious!!  Such a sense of humor!!
And Emerson going to kindergarten???  So cute!!

Enough Blessings For Us All

We were invited over to dinner at Jordan and Lexi's tonight to help celebrate with their family Emerson's first day of Kindergarten tomorrow.  Before dinner, we played outside and then played a few card games as Lexi was preparing the meal.  Emerson was tired from his long day and lack of sleep the previous night, so he was slightly emotional with some of the rules of the games.  He was hungry too, which made him a very 'hangry' boy, but he only shed a few tears.
Finally, he was able to get some dinner down him and he was much happier which would be really helpful in them trying to get him to bed early for an early morning tomorrow.  But Jordan had also invited us over to be a part of the event of him giving Emerson a fathers blessing for the first day of school etc.  I was very impressed that Jordan went in to change his clothes into something more appropriate than shorts and a t-shirt for the occasion, as he wanted this to be special.
Emerson hopped up into the kitchen chair that Jordan had brought into the front living room.  He sat very reverently as Jordan gave him a beautiful blessing - courage, kindness, listening, obeying, learning and being a hero for others were many of the things Jordan mentioned in the blessing.  It really was a blessing that was thoughtful and applicable especially for Emerson.  I could tell that Jordan had given it some thought more than 'just another blessing'.
As Jordan finished, Emerson hopped off the chair and gave both Del and me hugs.  No sooner had Emerson finished his rounds of hugs, that little Evie hopped up into the same chair, folder her arms, closed her eyes and said 'blessing??' Del and I looked at each other with the shocked look of amazement and wonder of this tender little act from this adorable 2 yr old desiring to be just like her older brother in wanting a blessing from her daddy too. And her face was priceless.  I couldn't have felt more touched in the moment.  So Jordan gave her a blessing too, of which she sat completely still and calm through as Jordan shared his love for her and bestowed some blessings upon her as she would be home with mommy every day. 
I felt blessed to have had this experience.  I'm glad Jordan and Lexi invited us over for this.  I'm glad Emerson is starting this next step in his life and we are able to participate in it all.  And I'm glad that I was able to hear the blessings given to both children and feel the spirit that was there.

I'm Not the BFF Type Girl

You know how I know that??? 
I DON'T HAVE ANY!!!
Last night, I was looking through Facebook as I was winding down from my day and noticed some posts from several different ladies in the ward.  There is a group of about 8-10 of them who seem to have a BFF group friendship.  There were several different pictures posted of activities they had recently all done together, and for one slight moment, I was envious - sad - jealous - lonely - and very longing of a relationship like that. I understand that I could be the mother of any one of them.  They are all in their late 20's, MAYBE some early 30's.  Yes, I am double their age.  I don't fit in.  I don't relate to them.  They each have one-two children, many of them expecting #3 or have just had #3, husbands all at new jobs, they have new starter homes and no kids in school yet, so they all just hang together.  I have absolutely NOTHING in common with them EXCEPT that I have all their little kids in my Nursery class.
So I was thinking this morning, 'who ARE my BFF's' and 'who DO I like to hang out with?'
It's my daughters and my sisters.  Really.  They are the one's who bring me the most joy - I know my husband and my sons too, but mostly, the girls.  We just don't do enough of it.  I'm going to need to work on that though.  But outside of family, I don't really take the time or make the effort to be a BFF to anyone.  I'm a lazy and very inconsistent friend.  I need to do better at that too.  I wish it came a little more naturally for me.  I only have myself to blame - which means I am the only one who can fix it too.
But I'm an introvert.  You would never guess that because I used to be the life of every party I went to.  Now, I don't go to the party any more.  And if I do, I am most generally quiet.  I guess that's the toll my anxiety and panic attacks have taken on me.  I would much rather stay home in the comfort and safety of my own home.
It all makes me feel old.  But I guess I am -

'It's Only a Flesh Wound'

But it still hurt!!!
I was doing a favor for Del and went to the gas station to fill up our gasoline jugs for the lawnmower.
I was trying to back up and circle around a brick beam so that I could then drive forward and drive away, BUT, I backed right into the brick bean.  Didn't even SEE it.  I HEARD it first. UGH!!
When I came home, I of course called Del over to see it, but he thought I was asking him to unload the gasoline jugs.  When he came around the corner and saw the dent, he jumped back slightly and said 'Oh, wow!'  But as the day wore on and we did other things, he saw it at the end of the day and said 'it was only a flesh wound'. 
But we are going to have to wait to get it fixed.  All that costs money you know.  And with me being unemployed?  Well...yuh know - it's gunna have to wait.

Evie Comes for Tea

Last Saturday, Lexi arrived at about 9:00 with both Emerson and Evie.  Emerson went to straight to Papa and the two of them went off to do whatever they were going to do.  Evie came right into me exclaiming, 'Nana, tea party!'
She edged up to the kitchen table and began to unload all her fixins for a great tea party.  She had little plates, little cups, a tea kettle and a tray to carry all on. I got the cinnamon Chex, the blueberries and filled the tea pot with water.
The next 30 minutes was filled with nibbling, sipping and giggling with gossip at our little party.  She was adorable.  Emerson was seeing how much fun we were having and quickly dumped Papa and his mom to join in our fun party.
After 30 minutes though, Lexi was finished with her project, so Evie just very precisely, packed up her little party, and trotted off with her pink bucket of joy until another day.
I was left with a smile on my face and a wonderful memory for the day.

Milk Toast

This is Milk Toast.
Growing up, most mornings we had hot cracked wheat cereal and fresh chocolate egg nog.  The egg nog was great, although it wasn't until years later, that I realized it was made with raw eggs.  The wheat cereal was barely tolerable - we would grind the wheat every morning by hand, and then mom would make it with water and dad would slap a large tablespoon of honey in it to sweeten it up.  Never sugar, only honey. (I won't eat honey to this day).
But when my mother would make homemade bread, which was almost every Friday, that would guarantee us milk toast or french toast Saturday morning.  It was a treat.
Mom's homemade white bread was delicious.  She usually made 4 loaves each batch and would use at least three of the loaves, just for breakfast.  There were 12 of us, you know!!!  She would slice each loaf into about 12 pieces each.  Then she would place about 20 pieces on the racks in the oven, and then toast them on each side, making perfect rack lines on each slice.  We would each then take two slices and place them in our bowls.  I always tried to get the end of the loaf (the butt) and then one larger slice so they would be 'doughy' when the milk was poured over it.  The milk had added sugar, cinnamon, butter and a dash of vanilla, and then warmed to an almost hot temperature.
Divine!!!!
It was years into our marriage before I made milk toast for the first time.  Mainly, because I didn't start making homemade bread until about that same time - and you can ONLY have milk toast with homemade bread!! So I sliced my two pieces and put them in the oven, at which time, Del asked: Why are you using the oven? Me: Cuz that's how you do it! Del: Why don't you just use the toaster? Me: Because then you wouldn't get the oven 'lines' on your bread! Del: Your mom used the oven because she did 20 pieces of bread at a time! Me: How do YOU know??  YOU JUST RUINED IT FOR ME!!!!!