What Took You So Long?

I was in charge of the Young Womens lesson on Sunday, of which I asked the Sister Missionaries to help me with.  The lesson title was 'How Do I know if I Am Truly Forgiven of My Sin?

I started the lesson by sharing with the young women the concept of agency and that the Lord has gifted us this gift for a reason:  that we can make choices and receive the blessing or consequence to that choice on our own.  I shared with them the importance of knowing God's laws and commandments so that we can make wise and educated choices. knowing what is for our good or for our bad.

The sister missionaries then talked about the emotions, feelings, and why's of when we choose to sin, or to repent.  I have so many - I think all of which I have repented (I think).  But I felt inspired to share one of my early experiences of sin and asking for the forgiveness needed.

After I had my three children, we lived in Pocatello Idaho and I was the PTA president of the elementary school my kids attended.  I was involved with a lot of the financial matters of the PTA, and a one point, found myself using the PTA funds for my personal use.  For months, I worried and stewed about my illegal and immoral choice to steal this money.  .  Month after month went by and I was getting more and more different in my personality - my relationships and my interactions with others.  I was mad - unhappy - judgemental - non social - critical and just all around, NOT HAPPY.  

Steve Dunn was my Bishop.  He and his wife Wanda, were also our best friends.  We did vacations together, dinners together, Sunday nights together, BYU everything together and our lives just intertwined in every aspect.  One Sunday evening, I literally became overcome by my sin, and in gulping words, expressed to Steve that I needed to talk to him.  He looked at me strangely and asked if it was 'as Bishop or as friend'  I replied 'as Bishop'.  Both Del and Wanda looked at me like 'cant you do this later?' type look and I said - 'NOW'.  

So Steve led me to his 'at home office'.  I told him everything.  I noticed his look of surprise and shock and didn't mince words about the importance of the sin.  After tears, conversation and a sense of true repentance being expressed, Steve gave me counsel as to how we would make this right, steps we would need to take spiritually and financially to make it right, and then we prayed.  I expressed to the Young Women the thoughts and feelings I had and then the words that came to my mind from my Heavenly Father.  'What took you so long?'

I told the Young Women that the Lord had literally been just waiting for me to repent.  He will always forgive us of our sins, if we just turn to Him in repentance.  We have to include the Savior and His atonement.  We have to take all the steps of true repentance - He's only waiting.

Then I shared with them the feelings afterwards of pure JOY.  Pure relief - happiness and encircled in love.  With those feelings, why would we NOT want to repent as quickly as possible?  Fear? Consequences? Shame? Rejection?  All of this was shared and I think the spirit witnessed to all of us, including ME again, that the law of repentance and forgiveness is truly the Lord's plan for our happiness.

I was grateful, AGAIN, for the witness on Sunday, that the Lord has truly forgiven me.  And I'm glad I was able to share that spirit with the girls.

By the end of my time in Young Women's, I'm thinking they just might know too much about Sister Lott.  But if the spirit says to share, I will share.  And hopefully what happens in Young Women's, STAYS in Young Women's.