....'It's Later'.....

The day has come to a close.
It's 9:00 p.m. now and I am weary, both physically and emotionally.
Del is in his office on the phone with his mother. All our sweet family has gone home now....
the house is quiet.
I have a moment to finish my thoughts.
I'm listening to music....Josh Grobin, Barbra Streisand, Sara Bareilles, and Celine Dion. It explains my mood.
Mike and Kylie came over with Preston around 3:00 this afternoon. Although Del was exhausted, I knew having them here would rejuvenate his soul...and it did. The sight of Preston brought an instant smile to Del's face...a light to his eyes and a jump to his heart. It was a much needed medicine for Del's tired body.
Sean and Becky came around 4:30 with a priest from the ward to administer the sacrament and then left to go home and get everything they needed to return and make us a yummy dinner...barbecued chicken, corn on the cob, fried potatoes and rolls. I put a cake in the oven and we visited with Mark and Elaine who kindly came over to express their love and concern for Del. While Mark visited with Del, I shared with Elaine and the other girls some of the details of the morning...both the feelings and emotions I had experienced before and after the blessing. We shared tears and much love, then they left as we started dinner.
Dinner and dessert were yummy...the company fantastic...and the playing with Preston afterwards was therapeutic...for both me and Del. The Mavs/Heat game #3 is playing right now but neither Del nor I are watching it. We both have too much that is occupying our thoughts and hearts right now to be wasting time on a game.
I was set back on my heels today...unnerved a little by the events of the day with my sweet husband. I had a few moments where I was allowed to see into the chambers of my soul and the feelings of genuine love and concern I have for my husband Del. I was allowed to see a glimpse of what my life would be without him...and although I ultimately was granted a calm and piece of comfort, I still felt that at the time of his death, it truly will be a complete and final death of my heart. That is not a moment I look forward to but one that I know will eventually come. I do find peace in the calm I was able to feel after Sean's blessing and that same calm that has been able to stay with me to the end of this Sabbath Day.
So at the completion of this stressful day, I look at these pictures and smile...knowing that in the eternal scheme of things, this is the purpose of our lives. This is why I live...this is why I die.