One Drop at a Time

The cup is starting to be refilled. I decided to focus on someone else besides myself and in return, I can see and feel my cup being refilled.
I haven't been a visiting teacher in years. And in the same regard, I haven't HAD visiting teachers in years. But as of a month ago, I have and AM both...and it's wonderful. The joy is touchable -
First of all, my companion is Susan Robb. For heavens sake...anyone who even KNOWS Susan Robb knows that I am in pure heaven going visiting teaching with her. What a lovely, classy and yet down to earth woman she is. I love her and all she is and does. And then the women we visit teach are also such great women. Good mothers and women who just need our time and love.
Then the women that come to me are also good. I don't need to be coddled, or pampered or 'tended to'. I just need the spiritual message and a good laugh and I feel great. And they provide that all. They have come faithfully three months in a row. Not ladies I can bare my soul to, but ladies I can feel spiritually uplifted by their being there. My visiting teaching experience the other day was joyous..it really was FUN. Four hours we were gone, visiting and LAUGHING with our ladies. I came home sooo happy.
So, who do I bear my soul to???
Besides my sisters, I have found one friend that shares my soul - challenges with our family, children, husbands and friends is much the same. But we seldom have the time to bare our souls, we are both so busy with life. But when we get together, it is such a renewal of strength and hope I get from her. The dam usually busts and the laughter and tears flow freely and uninhibited by fear or judgement. It is soooo appreciated to be accepted and loved by her for just who I am, just who my children and husband are and not judged or condemned for our faults and weaknesses.
I have begged for a best friend since I moved here to Texas and yet have connected with no-one. An occasional friend will come and go mostly because she will already have an inner circle that has been established years ago and there is no room to add another. Or, maybe it's just that I'm not a good friend?? I don't know. So over the years, I have focused mostly on my husband and children as there hasn't been anyone else to share the time with. That hasn't been all bad though as I love Del and the kids dearly. But I have missed having a girlfriend...
A sad thing has been watching those I THOUGHT were friends not be the friends I THOUGHT they were. It's been disappointing to know that they have learned about some of the mistakes my children have made, or I have made, or we have just drifted apart and now seem as strangers when I run into them. They are still great people...but I guess I miss having friends.
This next stage in life, the 'empty nest syndrome' will be interesting. Then where do we fit in?? Not to worry - I am determined to enjoy and love each stage that comes my way. I am truly going to make the effort to be the friend to others that I myself am looking for. There are those out there that do need me...not just me needing them.
And I'm starting with those that I visit teach!!