Wednesday, June 2, 2021

The Funeral

Us sisters, with mom, were asked to dress Rachel in her temple clothing Friday morning.  Rachel's daughters also came and assisted.  Without her hair and with no make up on yet, we really were quite disturbed at her appearance; enough so, that we suggested Mike might consider doing a closed casket.  But the girl who did Rachel's make up did a remarkable job and Rachel appeared presentable, much to our relief.
Del and I were both SO glad that Kylie was able to come and share this experience with us.  She brought to me personally, much comfort and calm to my high anxiety levels and upset mind and heart.  Del and I both had some very beautiful discussions and private time with Kylie while staying at Lon and Loraines home over the weekend.  Our discussions were very tender and touching as we each expressed such feelings of love and acceptance towards each other.
Rachel Packard Florence
Casket Bearers - Eric, Matthew, Paul, Mark, Garth, JD and Phil
With my sweet mother, Sheila, at the viewing.
Rachel's family at the cemetary
The beautiful casket
Rachelle, Jensen, Michael, Everly, Eric, Shayla, Savannah, Matthew and Lindsey
Me and Becca
Our family, with an empty chair next to Elaine


It has been slightly over a week since Rachel's funeral.  I'm still trying to process all the events over the past 7 months and have them make sense to me.
And what do I do with the gaping hole in my heart???
There were hundreds, literally hundreds who came to the viewing and the funeral.  I had no idea there would be so many.  There were relatives I hadn't seen for years - literally 20-30 years ago.  There were ward members, neighbors, choir members and family and friends that packed the stake center.  The Tabernacle choir sang the opening song Be Still My Soul, a special number Homeward Bound and then the closing song God Be With You. I was a MESS 
Del was very supportive and comforting to me.  He held me so close to his side and had his arm around me to keep me safe.  I so needed his warmth and love to calm me as I really just wanting to weep and melt away.  As the choir began the closing song and we stood to follow the casket, I was sure the only thing holding me up was Del's loving arms.  I turned to the choir with tears just streaming down my face and mouthed the words, 'Thank you' to them all.  Many of them were crying, especially from the Alto 2 section.  They loved Rachel, just as we did.
Becca and Elaine found me in the hallway and we left the arms of our husbands to fall into each others arms and we wept a deep and longing cry that would be our last for our dear sister Rachel.  Then we went to our cars and followed the processional to the cemetary. 

I won't comment on the remaining two days that we were there - it's just a blur - family time with the remaining 11 siblings and our spouses - then we flew home.
My heart hurts, as I'm sure it will for some time now.  But I do recognize the blessings of the Lord's plan of Happiness.  I know, understand and have faith in the atonement and resurrection of our Savior.  It's just the physical loss of Rachel that I am mourning.  Only my memories to sustain me now.