Monday, August 29, 2011

Fun in the Kitchen

Jordan and Lexi have been wanting to learn how to make certain things that our family makes all the time down; homemade salsa, cinnamon rolls and kolache's...So, tonight, after a long day at work and making a huge dinner of taco's etc...we made it...all.
Del, Kylie and Jordan made the homemade salsa or pico de gallo...then Del and Jordan made the kolache's and then I finished up with the cinnamon rolls which are just now finishing up in the oven.. (10:30 p.m.). And I am exhausted.
I'm thinking that by the end of all the fun we're going to have this week, we';re all going to be too tired to go on this cruise that starts on Sunday...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Fun Has Started

As you can see, Jordan and Lexi have arrived and Preston has stolen everyones hearts.
Yesterday, we went to Hurricane Harbor as a family and spent 6 hours doing water slides and swimming. I didn't do as much as the others as I'm really not into the 'slide' thing, but the others went all out...especially Del. I was a little surprised that he was up for doing so much and survived it so well. I was enjoying just relaxing in the pools and slower water. I was so hesitant to even BE in a bathing suit, but after getting there and seeing the other hundreds of women and what they were wearing? Geez...there were a LOT of brave women to be in bathing suits weighing what they were weighing....twice as much as i weigh....
After hours of over eating, being water logged and getting sunburned, we had a blast. Then we came home, had a barbecue and then played some games before calling it 'our first day of our family reunion'. Now today, the kids all came to our ward for church and then we just finished with a good spaghetti dinner and more games before once again, calling it a night. I can tell that if all of our days go like these first few days, I'm going to be exhausted and need a vacation from my vacation. I'm pooped from all the cooking and cleaning up. It will be nice to finally get on the cruise and let someone else do all the work.
Jordan and Lexi look good. It's going to be nice to get to know Lexi better. She seems wonderful. And of course, it is sooo fun to see my kids interacting with each other again, especially Jordan and Kylie. They are peas in a pod...hilarious together they way they tease and love each other. I have found myself smiling a lot observing them get reunited....this will be a fun vacation.
Work this next week and then we leave a week from today.

Friday, August 26, 2011

KC Photographs

Kylie has decided to take up photography as a hobby/part time business and we were some of her first 'subjects.'
Not bad, huh?
And there are tons more, but these were some of my favorite.
I look old.
But that's okay...because...I am.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

The Only Way to End This Day!!!

It was a CRAZY week at work with this mornings schedule typifying the rough week it was in the world of cats and dogs....We had 5 euthanizations...just today; 4 dogs and 1 kitty and more throughout the week. And then we had emergencies of a cat being hit by a car...a dog eating something not meant to be ingested by a dog...etc..etc.. So, I came home exhausted, both physically and mentally/emotionally. It was hard.
But I came home to..more work. Today was our 'meat canning' day of both chicken and beef for our food storage; a new adventure for us. But at least we had 'entertainment' to help us make it through the stress of it all...Preston!! And he has become quite the 'grandpa's boy'. He sure loves his grandpa..follows Del all over the house, whimpered when Del had to go outside to do the chicken on the barbecue until Del would re-enter and pick him up. If Del was at the sink, Preston would follow him to the sink...if Del threw something away in the garbage, Preston would open the lid to see what it had been. He was Del's little shadow...
The whole process has taken the remainder of the day and now, at 9:00 p.m. we have the last batch of bottles in the pressure cooker with 45 minutes left to cook and then an hour to cool before we can put them on the counter to admire our hard work.
But while waiting, I have been thinking that if not for being Mormon, today would be a 'drinking' day...the kind of day that many of my co-workers and friend come home, have a Jack Daniels or two..or three get the idea...and then crash.
But because I am Mormon...I finished my day the only way I knew how...
...homemade chocolate peanut clusters.
It was either that or an IV of straight chocolate.
I chose the 'lesser of the two evils'.
I will sleep well.
Complete exhaustion.
And chocolate...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A Hodge Podge of Thoughts

I'm home 7:00 at night...
It's quiet.
Del's gone home teaching...Kathryn is babysitting Preston.
I can think without having to answer questions.
I can feel without having to explain 'why'.
Or...I can not feel at all...without having to explain..why.
Listening to music; of course.
Sad day today with the death of two dogs at work. One a beagle and one a golden lab. Both families sobbed at the loss of their family members. My heart ached for I cried; alone.
While reading the national news, I saw how some families in Somalia were trying to leave certain places of drought and famine to get to other cities where there were emergency centers set up for their relief. But in the over 50 mile walk to the next place, some children dropped dead in their tracks from starvation, dehydration and disease and their mothers had to make the decision to leave their bodies there as they pushed on in order to save the other 3-4 children she was carrying. At in a few instances, the mother even had to choose to leave behind the 'not yet deceased' child in order to save the others.
I couldn't do it. I just know it would be a choice I would not be able to make. So I cried, again.
And on the very same page, still getting headlines, would be the title of an article reading 'Two Actresses Wear Same Dress to Major Event...who wore it best?' Who in the **** cares???
I was angry...really??? Such 'insignificance' given equal credit to that of the loss of life from disease, starvation and calamity. I was so disappointed.
Then of course, we have the beginnings of the Presidential races/campaign...I hate politics. I hate the mud slinging, the degrading of good and honest people and then the lifestyle and deceit of those not so good and honest; the back stabbing...the throwing under the bus of same party candidates and then eventually, the electing of evil and corrupt politicians into our Nations leadership. And this will go on for over the next year.
But I have sports!!!! Thank heavens I have sports!!!!! Pre-season has started for the NFL....the Colts lost their first game (argh), but it doesn't count yet...and BYU actually starts the day before we leave on our family cruise!!! Whoot whoot!!! I can feel the electricity in the air... and I am ready for some football.
Jordan and Lexi arrive next weekend where they will stay for a week...we will have family pictures taken, have some water fun...good food, good games and tons of memories before we actually 'board ship' and sail away on our week long cruise. In the meantime, I am trying desperately to stay on my diet while feeling the nagging hunger pains of some good old junk food. I haven't gained any pounds back, but I'm not feeling as thin, as I haven't been running or walking. ARGH!! But, not to beat myself up over it...
In the middle of a mental meltdown. Not really depression...but just...well..not wanting to be social..don't want to talk...don't want to 'visit'...don't want to do anything that takes explanation. I need things that are simple...simply easy.
Make sense?
Not to me either...

Monday, August 15, 2011

This Boot Was Made For ....

It's always something with this child.
This happened up in Rexburg two months ago...she ran into a door...only one of the many accidents or mishaps she has experienced over the past 6 months. And it hurt. I remember her calling when it happened..but she didn't want to make the time or go out of her way to 'get it taken care of'. So, since being home, she has complained about it...several times...and so now, three weeks before leaving on our family cruise, she FINALLY decides it's time to go have it checked by the orthopedic surgeon.
Of course, it's fractured. Of course, she has been playing volleyball on it for weeks and weeks...even running on it...and of course, she's now too late to have anything done on it during this semester break before going on the cruise and then back up to school. So, we will have to wait until Christmas break....
And of course, I am...frustrated. It will end up just like her index finger on her right hand that she injured playing volleyball in middle school..and then again, re-injured in high school but didn't want to take the time then to 'take care of it' and now, she has it permanently pointing the wrong way.
I look back now and see more than a few times that I should have insisted on being a parent and making a few grown up decisions instead of allowing her to make the choices that were convenient to her at the time. Consequences...
I'm afraid this 'boot' is going to come back to kick her in the butt.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

'Comfortably Numb'

My new phase of emotions....
I was listening to Pink Floyd the other day...don't ask why, I just was. I only enjoy like two or three of their songs at all....and the song Comfortably Numb is one of them...
I think that's where I am now in my 'emotional state of mind'...Comfortably Numb...
Don't feel much but I'm okay with that for awhile...
it's easier this way.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

My Cookies are Better Than Your Cookies!!

Kylie made cookies today too...and she blogged about them just as I was blogging about mine. But hers are a new recipe and sound WAY good...definitely better than my ordinary chocolate chip cookies.
Not that I would know because not only did I not have any of hers, but I haven't had any of mine either!! See, I don't eat the cookies once they're baked...I only eat the cookie dough. And then end up with the WORST tummy ache must be the raw eggs and stuff. But I can't help it. The cookie dough is just so good. Kathryn is the same way. She always begs me to 'make her cookies' she can pick in the dough. Which, we both the spoonfuls...then I cook them up and she eats a few while I suffer through hours of a belly ache. You would think I would learn my lesson, but I don't...I do it every time.
So, while making the cookies, I put on facebook what I was doing and then waited for my nephew Sean to text. He always does...and he did tonight. So he and Becky and Becky's brother John came over for cookies and milk. I'm such a good mom...I mean AUNT.
Fun to have my cooking enjoyed by others.
If you notice, I never cook up all the dough at the same time...I always save some for the next both pick in and cook up so we have fresh cookies and a new belly ache...
I can't help it.

Preston's Drawer

So he's all over the place now with seldom a fall. It's like once he took off, there was no stopping him after that. He goes from room to room...drawer to drawer and many times has to be told 'no no Preston' when he reaches for many things at grandma's house. But there is one place that has been designated as 'Preston's Drawer'.
It's the Tupperware lid drawer...and he goes to it, opens it and things start flying. It's so funny to watch cuz he'll walk over to the drawer as he SLOWLY opens it and waits for the expected 'no no Preston'...but when it doesn't come, he laughs and laughs as he throws the things out. I love it. Of course, he still chases poor Lacey all over the house and now knows what room grandpa is in when grandpa is 'working from home'. He will go to Del's office door and tap on it with his little fingers until grandpa appears seconds later to scoop him up and give him big loves. Very cute to watch the two of them interact.
*I may have to start designating a few more 'Preston Drawers' throughout the house so he feels more at home when he comes to visit. Because, of course, he'll be over here a lot...right?

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

'Taking Care of Business'

Love LOVE the music from the 70's!!!!!!!
We had the BEST music ever back in my youth...teenage years. The stake dances were the best - and because I was the stake dance chairman for 2 years, I made sure we had the best music played!!! I wasn't a real 'acid rock' Zepplin, Alice Cooper, ZZ Top, Ozzie, Kiss, and some others that were just a little 'too off the wall' for me. Speaking of that..'The Wall' by Pink Floyd was about the most 'off the wall' I listened to and it became an acquired taste..and only after I was introduced to it by a friend.
I loved music ..and most any kind of music. I didn't need to be high to enjoy it, I didn't need to be wasted and I certainly didn't need to be stoned to appreciate good music. Usually, it was the other way made ME high...If I could dance and rock -n- roll to it, I LOVED it.
This past week, I have decided to shift away from some of the music that has been emotionally draining me...sucking me emotionally dry. For right now, I can't cry anymore. I need a break from the 'flood gates'.
So...This week, I have been experiencing a 'flash from the past'...and it has felt good to have the blood pumping and my feet stomping to some good ole rock-n-roll.
I've been writing down my favorites...
China Grove ....Doobie Brothers
Taking Care of Business...Bachman Turner Overdrive
Black or White...Michael Jackson
Let Your Love Flow...Bellamy Brothers
The Wall....Pink Floyd....Comfortably Numb...
September...Earth Wind and Fire
Don't Bring Me Down...Electric Light Orchestra
Games People Play, Eye in the Sky...Alan Parsons Project
You Shook Me All Night Long ...AC/DC
Get Out Of My Dreams...Billy Ocean
What a Fool Believes...Doobie Brothers
Pat Benetar...Heart...

Get the picture what I've been enjoying this week??? No tears have been flowing this week...only my blood.
Feeling ALIVE for the first time in months....
Mountain high before the valley low??? gunna ride it for as long as the momentum is going!!!

Monday, August 8, 2011

The Top Six

I read an article today that I found pretty interesting...enlightening...I read it this morning and spent the rest of the day thinking about what it had said and how I felt about it's message.
It was entitled...
The Six Qualities Men Find Most Attractive in Women:
They are, as follows...
1. Femininity: Most men don't want to be in love with 'other men'. They want to love a woman...the epitome of softness, warmth, beauty and tenderness; a woman that portrays herself as a daughter of God. Beautiful to look at - elegant..classy -
2. Confidence: A woman who knows who she is and what she wants and portrays that in her actions, thoughts and words. A woman who can hold her own standing next to the man she loves, as an equal partner and companion.
3. Be a Challenge: knowing what SHE wants and getting him to want HER because of it. Making herself someone he desires but needs to deserve and 'work for'...not being 'hard to get', but 'worth getting'. Not a 'beck and call' girl..but an 'I'll get back to you' girl.
4. Possesses a 'soft heart': a woman who 'feels' all the emotions appropriate in a loving and thriving relationship - a woman who is 'easy to forgive others' and nurture the needs and cares of others....'his place to fall' at the end of a long day...the heart he wants 'to hold his' with all the kindness and gentleness needed to hold it forever.
5. Modesty: A woman who knows that what she 'has' is hers to have, not to be used to tease, entice or accommodate a man's inappropriate desires. A woman that keeps her body, thoughts, actions and words in a place to where others in her company will always feel comfortable.
6. Sense of Humor: A woman who brings laughter to the heart of another is the one that all are drawn to as they enter her presence. Never at the expense of another, her words and expressions of joy make others laugh..she lightens hearts, heals wounds, gives hope and encouragement by her smile and ability to make others laugh at what is to be found as joyful. Her laugh rings in his ears in his alone moments and puts a smile on his face and in his heart.

Sweet huh?
Made even sweeter knowing that these were a list of qualities desired by the men in this world about the women in this world.
I imagine there are the 'exceptions' out there of men who desire other things in women, but it's nice to know that the men that I know in this life are the men who desire these top six qualities.
Hoping that I can, over the years, finally achieve these top six qualities along with those of many others...

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Crying Doesn't Help

It was EVERY song, every thought, every memory, every moment of every day this past week...I cried.
About what????
Anything and EVERYTHING!!!
I'm worn out...
I'm mad...angry...mad again...sad...angry again...sad.
When I'm awake, when I'm relief from the tears.
Feel a meltdown coming...

Another Hot Wax Accident

Even though this time wasn't NEARLY as serious or terrible as Kylie's years ago, it still hurts like no other.
Why do we do this??? Why can't women just have big old bushy eyebrows and look okay??? No, we pluck, we pull, we wax and we shape...all in the name of 'beautiful'. And even with as many times as we have done this before, Kathryn and I still came away with....this.
I got the wax too hot....she spread it too thick...and voila!!! The above pictures show the results. Ouch...for probably a good week or so.
I'm just hoping it doesn't scar...but if it does, then...oh well.
At age 51? Who cares!!!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Hoping I Don't Talk in My Sleep

Dreams lately have been keeping me...awake...
My mind thinks all day and then at night, seems to play everything out in my dreams.
I wake up, most often, upset...crying...moaning...
and don't want to dream anymore because it hurts too much.

"Mornings just a moment away...and I'm without you, once again...
you laughed at me, you said you never needed me, I wonder if you need me now...
so many dreams that blew away, so many words we didn't say,
two people lost in a storm, where did we go???
We played the games that people play,
we made out mistakes along the way,
somehow I know deep in my heart, you needed me, cause I needed you
so desperately, we were too blind to see...
but then most of all, I do love you...
......Lionel Ritchie....

Not to worry....
they're just dreams...
they don't mean anything...anymore.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

A Nice 'Pick Me Up'

Okay...I was feeling pretty...moody...down...sad...depressed...and a whole bunch of other adjectives that I can't list.
these two came over tonight and made me laugh.
I made cake today...for Sean...cuz he wanted me to bake some homemade bread for him but I wasn't up for that..but, I thought I could maybe whip up a cake for him. And he and Becky came over tonight for cake and ice cream.
It was supposed to be something nice I did for them, but it ended up being the other way ended up making ME laugh, and ME happy. Exactly what I needed.
So good to laugh with people you love...

Keeping Fingers Crossed

You can open your eyes now Jordan...and breathe!!

It's not for sure...BUT, it's looking pretty good!!!
Guess who's moving to TEXAS?????
Yup yup yup yup!!!!!!
Jordan and Lexi will be moving to Texas in January and I am so excited I can't stand it!!!! That will mean that all my children will be here starting in January as Kathryn will just have finished her Fall semester at BYU Idaho too...
What great fun we will have...
Lexi has applied to a nursing school here in Texas and we're just waiting to hear if she made it in. And I THINK Jordan will be finishing his schooling down here too.
Won't this be wonderful??!! I'm hoping so.
So, keeping fingers crossed that all goes as planned.
I couldn't be more pleased.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

A Missed Moment

I had thought about it for months, even years. I had figured it all out in my mind...the different scenarios and possibilities. And when the opportunity presented itself, I didn't take it. I thought it right up to the moment...and let it pass me by.
I have regrets and only 'what if's?' And images of what 'it could have been...'
...and my heart breaks for the missed memory.
The chance will NEVER be there again...
Such a regret.
I hate regrets.
And missed memories.
And 'what if's'.