It Is Enough

 Our country has been divided for years and years over racism and evil in the world.  A few years ago, black athletes started protesting their feelings of inequality  by taking a knee during the playing of the National Anthem.  As this demonstration has progressed over the past few years, it has further caused much controversy and emotions, not only with black lives matter, but now with ALL athletes, black or white.  Pres Trump has called for protesting athletes to be fired, team owners and coaches are calling for unity and everyone is trying to play ball.  I am disappointed at it all.

 Hurricane Harvey hit Houston and other southern Texas cities in August, literally destroying city after city.  The church from our area, has literally sent thousands and thousands of volunteers to help with the clean up every weekend for the past month.

 Mexico suffered 2 earthquakes back to back in the month of September, destroying many cities and causing the death of hundreds of victims, including an elementary school full of little children.

 Hurricane Irma hit Florida and 2-3 other states back to back, then end of September.  Once again, many homes and cities destroyed, more deaths and destruction.

 And following Hurricane Irma, came Hurricane Maria, which hit Puerto Rico, COMPLETELY  destroying the whole island.  It destroyed everything on the island to the point that all missionaries had to be evacuated and sent to other missions, and those citizens still on the island are dying from lack of care and attention by our government.

 And then, just this past weekend, we have the worst US violent attack/killings in Las Vegas Nevada, where during an outdoor country concert, a gun man, in a nearby hotel, shot 1000's of rounds from automatic shotguns and other weapons into the 22,000 concert audience - killing 58 and injuring over 500!!!  He then committed suicide and shot himself. The week has been FILLED with daily news updates as to those surviving, those dying, those escaping the tragedy and those still in shock and traumatized.

 President Trump, since his inauguration in January, has proven, in my mind and opinion, to be one of the worst and most frustrating Presidents of this country.  I can barely stand to hear, on a daily basis, of his stupid decisions, remarks, opinions and controversial actions. Probably most of all, he gives me NO hope, but only despair, for the state of our once very powerful and respected country, which now considered to be the 'joke of the world'.

 Last weekend was our Semi Annual General conference, where it was announced days before, that President Monson would NOT be attending, due to failing health and weakness.  Much love and prayers were offered on his behalf, and he was dearly missed.

And then, it was announced at the beginning of the last session of conference, that our dear Elder Hales, of the quorum of the twelve, had just passed away after the morning session of conference.

These events have all occurred over the past 3-4 months, a long with other huge events in my personal life, all of which have left me...hm..I want to say emotionally exhausted - but it's more than that.  I feel weight - heavy weight upon my mind and heart.  It's not that I am hopeless.  I'm not.  But I am weary and it appears very clear to me, that the Lord is involved in the humbling and refining of His people in this world.  It feels like chaos - but a very planned out chaos - make sense?  To add to these months of NATIONAL disaster, we have also had two ward families affected by 'accidents' of the most terrible life threatening level to where our ward members have been set back on their emotional heels.
I'm trying to internalize the message being sent from the Lord - I'm trying to figure out 'what does this mean' to me???  What do I need to DO? CHANGE? RESOLVE? REPENT OF??
It has caused for many sleepless nights - even tears for those affected personally, and time on my knees in more humble and fervent prayer.  And then my scripture study has been more meaningful as I am currently reading of these exact same circumstances happening to the people of the Book of Mormon.  My studying has been surprisingly connected to the daily events I'm experiencing - answering direct questions and situations I am finding myself in these past few months.  It's almost overwhelming to realize that daily, I am having 'aha' moments and clarity of thought. I have, multiple times, meant to take to blogging these experiences, but have found that they have happened so frequently, that I have lacked time to record them all, so I have ended up recording none.  I'm disappointed at that. 
But one thing I have clearly felt this past week, after some of these last situations have happened, I have been able to pin point the manner in which I need to handle this world around me.  This following thought came to me
'My calm is knowing that soon, my Heavenly Father will say 'it is enough', and He will once again, send us His Son'.