Sunday, October 18, 2015

I Have to Write a Letter

My brothers never call me.
So when they do, I know it's about something important - not just to shoot the breeze.
Mark called.  I couldn't imagine why...and he tried to beat around the bush for a few minutes before he finally just got to the point.
He had just finished talking to my mother about the process of submitting my grandfathers name to the First Presidency for the possibility of re-baptism - and learned that I had been the victim of grandpas sexual abuse.  He was so sorry...and was asking my opinion, if I had any, of his wanting to have grandpa rebaptized.
Honestly, it doesn't matter to me either way.  I really don't have emotions about it anymore - after counseling, time and moving on in my life, I really have put it out of my mind and don't feel really anything towards grandpa anymore.  I'm not angry at him, I'm not still affected by it any longer, and I no longer want him out of the church.  I just don't really care one way or the other.
Is that bad???  Would that make the brethren NOT approve his re-baptism??  Do they need me to WANT him reinstated???  If they do, I may not be ready to make THAT statement.  But honestly, his eternal salvation is no longer my concern.  I don't want to stop it from happening, but I'm also not petitioning for the event either.  Mark just needs me to write a letter to the First Presidency stating the facts, giving them a full disclosure of all events so they have the information necessary to make a decision.
I can do that...right?
I don't have to get all emotional about it - just facts.  I don't have to remember it, re-live it or re-invent it.  Just give non emotional facts.
I wonder how my mother is doing with HER letter. It's her father, so I imagine this will be much more difficult for her.
I have a week to get it done.
No pressure....

1 comment:

alisha.p.bowen said...

I've been wondering when someone would decide to try to make this happen, and what it would mean for our family. You are so amazing, and I hope and pray that you have peace with whatever the outcome.