Saturday, March 26, 2011

Fun in the Sun





We've had sun in Texas this week. And Kathryn decided it was a good time to start getting some 'color' before going off to Idaho to school. So the backyard has been being used as her private tanning salon.
She invited me to tan with her...mostly for company, I'm sure; has nothing to do with my snowy white legs. So I did lay out with her 3 days...she's slightly browner than day one..I'm red. Of course, I always burn first, then it fades into a tan after about 2-3 days. These pictures were taken on day 3. One day, in particular, was especially humorous as she convinced me to tan topless while on my stomach. Oh yeah...you should have seen Del's face when we told him. Didn't happen again...mostly because of areas on my back that saw the sun for the first time in over 50 years and I'm still feeling the sting today. Plus, it just wasn't pretty....
There was also walking every day, playing every day (movies etc) and even some yard work a few days. I'm STILL sore from THAT too...yard work??? Yeah...YARD WORK!! Who would have thought!!!???
This was all done, of course, in between March Madness basketball games...of which, BYU did lose on Thursday night. Last night, we had a small family barbecue over at Mike and Kylie's where we played darts, shot the BB gun and played other games along with a yummy dinner. I ate too much and feel yucky today, but it's so hard to pass up homemade potato salad, baked beans and all the other trimmings that make up a good barbecue. Good time!!!
Today is Saturday...laundry..grocery shopping and helping Kathryn get some things organized for her move up north. There's more basketball to watch but no more sun. I've realized that I really don't enjoy tanning...don't want more skin cancer removed in a couple of years and basically, anything underneath my clothes doesn't need to be tanned anyways. No-one is ever going to see it!!!
Del goes to Boston next week on business. Leaves on Tuesday and comes home Friday night. Kathryn says that merits a party!!??
More than tanning topless in the backyard???
I didn't know there COULD be more!!!

Disappointing, but...DUH!!???

We lost the sweet 16 - and although Jimmer still scored over 30 points again, it was in a losing effort. He, (Jimmer), was beat up -pushed around, stomped on and left for dead.
And died, we did.
I remain a BYU/Jimmer Fredette fan, but I'm so sad they couldn't take it one step further this year.
Rough loss.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Is It Worth It???

When I was a teenager, I was taught a very important concept by my older brother Paul that I have had to review over and over throughout my 30+ years of adulthood. The concept is that of weighing the risk of an action against the benefit received of risk taken. Risk vs Benefit.
Paul taught me this lesson when we were in a position as teenagers of making a certain choice that we knew would reap a huge benefit for us personally, but at a huge risk of our parents going totally ballistic at our choice. Of course, I was the 'worry wart' wondering if and when our parents would find out...Paul was the calm one, assuring me that the risk of mom and dad finding out what we were doing was sooo minute that it was worth getting or doing what we wanted to do.
It took awhile, but Paul was finally able to convince me to 'take the plunge'. To this day, our parents don't have a clue or know anything about what Paul and I did....and don't anybody even think about asking me to tell at this point because honestly, I don't remember the details of the decision we made, the benefits we received OR the complete circumstances of the situation. So, I won't be telling. I just know, we were both pleased at the outcome. A risk worth taking is worth the benefit you hoped for.
Not all risk vs benefits scenarios will have the same outcome as my teenage experience...but I am seeing that I am still, at age 51, in the position of making those choices almost on a daily basis. And I am not, by any means, a risk taker. I never have been. I've almost always done the safe thing, taken the path most walked and almost always gone with the flow. But in doing so, I am now seeing that I have also passed up many an opportunity for a new experience, a new insight..a new benefit... a new chance at something better.
So...how do I decide when the risk is worth the hoped for outcome or benefit?
Financially...I've seen my dad lose a lot of money in commodities and the stock market. I've seen the same thing from my brothers and even Del has once or twice. Del has wanted to change jobs once or twice, each time with my frantic plea of begging him to keep us secure and safe financially. He has passed up opportunities more than once because of my pleading and we are here in Texas because I insisted we leave Utah where our financial position was in a HUGE turning point of possible risk, to come here to Texas where I knew we had a 'sure deal.' I wonder now, what would have happened if we had stayed in Utah..if we would have lost our shirts, or if with a little more faith, Del would have been able to turn things around for us. I didn't give it a chance. So, this last time, when Del wanted to change jobs, I never argued once with his decision. There was no pleading on my part and still plenty of risk being taken...and it is ending up a wise decision.
In the early years of raising our children, I followed the rules of parenting to the letter. I allowed Del and I both to spank, yell and have our way with making all decisions for our children. It wasn't until I realized I needed to be on Prozac that I decided to change my parenting perspective. When we moved from Idaho to Utah, I started allowing my children to make a few more of their own choices, and allowed them to start exploring their own thought processes. But it wasn't until we moved to Texas that I really stepped back and started to allow my children to become more than just my children, but to become young 'people'. There were a lot of risk vs benefit moments and not all choices made were the right ones, but there have been a lot of lessons learned from both the 'best choices and the not so best choices' experiences.
Little scenarios:
Kylie tells me she is spending over $20 a week on formula for Preston each week. Finances are tight. I told her I put my children on 2% milk when they were 4 months old for the same reason of expense. Possible risks??? Preston could have allergies..upset stomach etc... benefits? save a lot of money, easier access to bottles etc...
Allowing Kathryn to make personal choices has been a difficult one for me...I would like nothing better than to TELL her what she needs to do and make her do it...But, I have had to sit back and follow the counsel given by others to allow her to experience her own choices...risk vs benefits...at the risk of her killing herself, ending up hurt or completely lost to me, I've had to allow her to experience the benefit of personal growth, learning on her own, lessons I could not have taught her any other way.
I can look back at when I was a young child of age 8-11...a few situations where the risk of telling my parents certain information would have been a huge benefit to me and my safety. But at the time, the risk seemed insurmountable...not possible without fear of my life. If I had of just said something, I could have possibly avoided years of childhood sexual abuse...
A few more risks taken with my heart could have certainly resulted with different benefits instead of near death for me and a completely changed life for another.
For me, the past 6-8 months have been a huge risk vs benefit period in my life. I've been making some personal choices and decisions that have come with some great risk...most of them have been rewarded with benefits I could have only dreamed about. Only one or two have not met my expectation of benefit return. But overall, I'm taking more risks right now than ever before...and I'm happy...scared ****less sometimes, but have decided the risk is worth the benefit.
So the question to ask in each situation???
Is it worth it????
Is the risk being taken worth the benefit received???
I can't answer for anyone else but myself.
And there will even be times that I won't know the answer myself until after the risk has been taken.
I'm going to make mistakes...but I'm deciding the risk is worth it.
I'm sure hoping the lesson taught me by my brother Paul so many years ago holds true for me 30+ years later...
'a risk worth taking is worth the benefit you hoped for'.
I guess I'll find out soon enough.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Untitled

'Wanting to be needed' or
'Needing to be wanted'....
Either way, it doesn't matter.
I hate that I feel both emotions.

Monday, March 21, 2011

BYU in the SWEET SIXTEEN

This isn't a post about any sweet memories of 35 years ago...I didn't have any at age sixteen!!!
This is about....
JIMMER!!!!!
Yes...BYU is going to the SWEET SIXTEEN!!!!!!
First time in a LONG time that BYU has reached the sweet sixteen, but we are there, scheduled to play Florida at 6:27 p.m. Eastern Time in New Orleans!!!! WHOOT WHOOT!!!!! And I am BEYOND PSYCHED OUT!!!!
First game of the tournament, we played Wofford and beat them soundly...then we played Gonzaga, a good team, but we ended up blowing them out of the water. Jimmer played well both games, scoring in the 30's the second game with the rest of the team picking up the slack. That now takes us to the sweet sixteen....
We are one of the only #3 seeds left - we've even lost a #1 seed and 2 #2 seeds...so we are looking good. Of course, we're not the favored of the tournament, but we DO have the best player in the nation on our team...Most people are betting on Ohio State..some Kansas...but if BYU could beat Florida, who we did beat last year in the first round, then BYU would come to Texas to play in the Elite Eight!!!!! OMG!!! Would that be....UNBELIEVABLE!!!
So until Thursday, I will have Jimmer withdrawals and try to find something to do with all my free time waiting for the games to start back up.
But come Thursday, GAME FACE ON!!!!
GO COUGARS!!!!

Long Distance Encouragement

Jordan's isn't one to usually notice things.
It's kind of a joke...but Jordan is...clueless.
And most people notice it within a few minutes of hanging with him.
He's adorable and funny and I love him to death, but he's pretty much stuck in his own little world. Seldom comes out of it, or allows others in it...just his own little world.
But last Friday, I was at Best Buy having my laptop computer worked on. I had posted a new picture of myself on facebook the night before and several people had made kind comments about it, including Jordan's new wife Lexi.
Apparently, she said something to Jordan about it and he called me while I was standing in Best Buy...the conversation went something like this...
J: Hey mom..how are ya doing?
M: I'm doing great Jordan - how's my boy??
J: Doing great too mom, but I've got to tell you something funny...
M: Okay - what's so funny?
J: well, I was on facebook this morning and I saw this gorgeous lady on there who kind of looked like you...but I knew it wasn't you because you're kind of heavier and she was really skinny and pretty. But she looked a lot like you...do you know who it was???
Of course, at this point, I'm wondering if I should be flattered or offended at the backhanded compliment I THINK my son gave me...but I'm not quite sure...
M: I have no clue who she is Jordan but I'll be sure to pass the compliment on to your mother...
J: Well, she does look really good...tell her I'm really proud of her and that I think she looks great. And to keep up the good work.
M: Thank you Jordan...I'll be sure to tell her...and thank you...I think.
J: I love you...mom.
M: I love you too Jordan...thanks for noticing...

Although miles away, I could feel his encouragement and pleasure in his new momma!!!
Made me feel like all the hard work has been worth it.
He'll just need to work on his approach from now on.
That's Jordan!!!

Chicken Legs

Kathryn has started some tanning on our sunny days hoping to get some color on her before she goes up to Idaho. She'll cover herself in baby oil and then lay out in the sun for about an hour each day...she's already got some good color but also some of her freckles have started coming out too.
Today it was overcast. She asked me yesterday if I wanted to start laying out with her and I agreed that I would try to get a little color on my arms and legs, so I put shorts on today thinking we would go out later. But nope...sun never showed.
While sitting on the couch watching tv with Kathryn, she kept patting my legs.... she was playing with my legs when she said..'geez mom, you have chicken legs'. I looked at her and told her 'I do not.'. She asked me to pull my shorts up past my thigh and as I did, she again exclaimed how I had 'chicken legs'.
I have always envied the legs of my sister Elaine. She has gorgeous legs...especially in heels. Mine have been only okay. But I got off the couch and went to the full length mirror in my room and lifted my shorts up over my thighs to examine my legs. Sure enough, for the first time in literally 20 + years, I saw skinny...chicken legs. Kathyryn, of course, had to point out the one wicked varicose vein I have on my right leg that I acquired on my mission while in Antofagasta 'on the hill'. I walked that mountain for 9 months and have the proof on the outside of my right calf. It's been there for 30 years and doesn't appear to be leaving any time soon.
So aside from the varicose vein, I was finally pleased at the new shape of my legs. They aren't exactly 'chicken legs', but compared to what they were 6 months ago, they have at least changed from a large farm animal leg to a smaller bird leg....
Still working on the over all concept of reaching my ideal weight...bahaha...ideal not being attainable, but at least trying to get on the 'same page' as ideal weight. I'm stuck though...again...lost 30 pounds..but keep going back and forth a pound or two here and there.
So, for three more weeks, I'll just keep up the hard work...
Maybe I'll be able to get 5 more pounds off if I really push the exercise and watch every bite....But it's getting harder and harder to make progress. I'm stuck. A good stuck, but stuck none the less.
I need a breakthrough again....
Gotta stay focused....
gotta reach my goal...
Don't give up now Marlys!!!!
I can...taste it...35 pounds total by April 15th!!!
I can do this....
I GOTTA do this!!!!
I will...

Friday, March 18, 2011

The 'Mormon Shot'

Yes, even us Mormons have our moments when we need a 'shot'.
Yesterday was one of those days.... for my Kylie.
First, let me explain a few things...a pre-curser for...well...for this whole post..
The shot glass was a gift for Kathryn from a friend who brought it back from a cruise.
Yes, it has been used before...by me, by Kathryn and by me again....several times..several days...and several times in a given day...
No, it's never had alcohol in it...BUT, it has been known to hold a hydrocodone or Valium at some point in time ( okay, more than once).
Yesterday...
Kylie has been struggling a little bit over the past few weeks/months. I think it's post part um blues...hormone deficiency and just the whole scenario of being a new mother and all that that brings with it. Yesterday she went to the doctor. Kathryn met her there to help watch Preston while Kylie was otherwise busy with her appointment. Afterwards, Kylie was going to take Kathryn out to lunch. So, I was surprised when they both showed up at the house...in a mood. I know the mood...I've been IN it and SEEN it plenty of times that I knew neither of them was happy about something but none of us were going to be talking about it.
Kathryn started making herself some lunch and so I offered to make Kylie a sandwich with some chips and some Cran Raspberry Ocean Spray...she was grateful and while she quietly ate her lunch, I kind of caught Kathryn's eye and gave the 'what's up?' look. I love our 'looks' that we have established over the years that communicate more than words ever could...Kathryn shot me the 'I'll tell you later' look and I let things go...for a minute.
Kylie NEVER finishes her food...NEVER has seconds and NEVER EVER EVER finishes drinking the last few swallows of her drink...no matter what it is. So, I was wide eyed when I saw her almost licking her plate of the potato chip crumbs and then finished her Ocean Spray down to the last drop. I side glanced Kathryn who shot me the 'uh oh' look...and then the tears came. Kylie started bawling...frustrations, emotions, feelings and pouty lips came pouring out and I went over and hugged her while she just cried. In between her sobs she said how she was feeling and wanting this and that...I listened and gave as much comfort and support as I knew to give...Kathryn was holding Preston while also trying to listen and give support. This continued for a few minutes...then I went to clear Kylie's plate and cup. She stopped me on my way to the sink and said, 'Oh no, I'm having more chips AND drink!!' Kathryn and I both gasped and Kathryn said, 'Well, then I think we better serve it up in this..' and she pulled out the shot glass. All three of us BUST out laughing...
The Mormon shot glass...filled with Cran Raspberry Ocean Spray...Kathryn and I both rolled our eyes as Kylie began to take 'sips' from the shot glass. Although I'm not a 'drinker', even I know that a shot glass is for just that...shots...you take the drink in ONE shot..not sip. Kathryn and I were embarrassed...but we all laughed....
To top off the whole experience, Kylie accepted Kathryn's offer to make her a chocolate milkshake to 'help her feel better'. That was the icing on the cake that gave me the final insight as to how Kylie's life had been going. She needed chocolate.
But, I also knew that after being with her mommy and funny sister Kathryn for a few hours, Kylie was feeling much better...
How did I know???
She left the last few swallows of her chocolate milkshake in her glass....
She was going to be fine...

Thursday, March 17, 2011

If I Listen With My Heart

I was teaching the little children in Primary about our senses...smell, touch, hearing, tasting and seeing. I was trying to teach and show them how their senses intermingle and in many ways, become one when we are trying to discover new things. This is, of course, all being done on a 3-6 yr old level...very basic and very simple.
One of the songs I am teaching them is about 'listening with your heart'. Of course, I could see in the eyes of these three to five year olds a look of complete confusion as to the concept of 'listening with your heart'. Hallie protested several times that 'you listen wiff yo eers, not yo hawrt' and Frankie was upset enough with my confusion that he came up, tugged on my skirt and insisted on whispering in my ear..'no Sistuh Lott..I fink you ahr wong', loud enough for all to hear.
I decided to take another approach.
I pulled up a small chair, took my shoes off and sat in front of the smallest children. Once I had them still, I asked them to cover their eyes with their hands and cover them really tight so they couldn't see anything. I warned them not to take their hands off until I gave them 'a signal'. Then I started to sing.
I quickly paused and reminded them not to look yet and then finished the song I was singing and gave them the signal to remove their hands from their eyes. Little hands were flying in the air as they yelled,,'you were singing...you were singing'. I asked how they knew I was singing if they couldn't see me??? 'We heard you..we heard you'. So..I had them cover their ears this time...and I sang again. Of course, it was 'we saw you, we saw you' as their next response. So I stilled them one more time and asked them the question...'If you could not see me, and you could not hear me, how would you know if I were singing??' One of my brilliant 6 year olds said, 'I would feel it.'
Well THANK heavens he said what I needed him to say because I wanted these little ones to understand the concept of 'feeling not with your hands, but with your heart.'
Such a grown up concept understood so much better by little children.
Adults THINK too much to allow themselves to 'feel' what they need to feel.
We protect ourselves from emotions that allow us to be happy...to feel pain...joy...fear...etc..etc..
We try to THINK ourselves out of 'listening with our hearts' or even better, 'listening TO our hearts'...We think most times that what we hear being said is pretty straight forward until we realize that most things left UNsaid are the things from the heart.
So, as I sat there in front of those 50+ children trying to explain this adult concept of 'listening with my heart' and saw the look of comprehension that crossed through their eyes, I made a silent promise to myself that I would also attempt to understand and live this simple thought of 'listening with my heart'...to my children, to my friends, to my family and to myself. Listen not only to the 'words' being spoken, but the words that were left UNspoken as well; that only the heart I can hear.
Sweet experience.

Baby Shower for Stephanie



Stephanie flew in from California yesterday as a surprise for her daddy's 50th birthday. So while here, family decided to have a baby shower for her....These are just family members that were in attendance...there were about 10 others who are friends of Steph and/or my sister Elaine in attendance....
Back row...Elaine, Janene (Elaine's daughter), Brittany (Elaine's daughter in law) me...
Front row... Julianne (Von's daughter), Becky(Paul's daughter in law), Stephanie (Elaine's daughter), Kylie holding Preston (Marlys' daughter) and Kayla (Elaine's daughter).
The shower was great fun...lots of laughing, food, games and presents....

Then tonight was the first night of March Madness....BYU played Wofford....and we won...barely. I wasn't able to watch the game live so I had a friend texting me updates every 5-10 minutes to keep me informed of all the drama while I was gone. INTENSE!!!! And way too close!! I will have to watch the game (taped) tomorrow so I can understand all the frustration, colorful language and emotion that was felt by those who watched it live. Even knowing the result, I will still need to see for myself the way we played. I'm told I will NOT be impressed and BYU will have to show up with a whole different attitude if we're going to take this next game. And probably a whole different team!!! Jimmer did have 32 points and several high lights on ESPN but that won't win us a basketball game on Saturday. So I hope they rest up and get psyched for this next challenge. I want them in the 'sweet 16'. But of course, I want a lot of things I don't get....

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

$68 and Change

We try not to spend our 'change'. Instead, we collect it in a big glass jar that we have sitting on my desk in the kitchen. We let it get to the top and then we roll it....
It's time to roll...
Kathryn will take it all up to college...
the quarters she will use for laundry...
the dimes and nickles she will use as ice cream cone or candy bar money...
and the pennies??
She will drop around campus as 'good luck pennies' that hopefully, others will pick up and 'make a wish' on....

Time for MARCH MADNESS!!!

The sites have been chosen and the teams have been selected...
and the games begin tomorrow.
BYU was seeded a #3 which is not bad for not taking our conference championship and losing our big man inside...we will play Wofford in the first round - tomorrow night...in Denver. We should beat them...Wish I could be there to watch but I have no one to go with me...no vacation days available!!!! Such a feeble excuse. Doesn't anyone ever get the 3 day flu anymore???
Then we'll play either Gonzaga or St john's. Both will give us a fight for our lives, BUT I really think if we're at the top of our game, we can beat either team and go to the sweet 16. But then we'll be hard up for a win. I love BYU, but without Brandon Davies I don't think we'll go past the sweet 16. Has nothing to do with loyalty or lack of faith...just common sense...
This will be my first year that I've chosen to not 'compete'....no wagering..no bet placing and no joining the 'boys'club' for the winning prize. I've decided to try and not be a 'butt kicking, 'bring it on' competitive little trash talkin momma' this year...going to win quietly and then very gracefully accept my reward when I decide it's time to claim it. But win, I will....
So, let the games begin....
Go Cougars!!!!!

Not Worth Hanging on the Wall

A mature buck with an 8 point 'rack' - both sides...worth hanging on a hunters wall.
Joking with some friends...
Since my surgery and losing 30 pounds, I no longer have..a 'rack'.
I was told I would be lucky if I even made the wall in a 'kiddies play room'.
I laughed...until I got home...
then I cried.
Hard to feel very feminine when I no longer have.....
shouldn't matter...
it can't.
But it does...some days.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

It's Springtime!!


It is GORGEOUS outside - and Spring has arrived.
These tulips were planted last year by my nephew Sean...you know, the one who is NOT my favorite nephew?? Yeah - he planted them last year and they have just erupted this week and up this far already. I watered them this morning and will hope for some blossoms next week.
It's a comfortable 70' + weather with a slight breeze...I have my doors and windows open and blasting my music. I have gone to get a few groceries, have laundry going and have watched every SportsCenter/ESPN news clip there is on Jimmer this morning from last nights game.
Have I mentioned that I love Jimmer???
Yeah - I do. I'm a little obsessed even...a little.
Tonight's game should be good - we've beat(en?) San Diego twice in the season already - but last night, we played New Mexico who had also beaten US twice in the season....means nothing when it comes to tournament play. We just need a win. Hope Jimmer slept well and that the team smells blood. Tonight is a Jazz game too...I call it my 'J' nights...Jazz, Jimmer and...well, JUST win.
Lost another pound...Sean and his wife Becky came over to the house yesterday and Sean told me I needed to go eat a cheeseburger. That's his way of saying 'I'm looking skinny'. Don't ask...it made sense to me...made me smile too.
Weather like this gives me a lot of energy....want to...do some yard work...mow the lawn...weed - go walking. I already went for a drive - windows down, music blasting and singing at the top of my lungs. Maybe I should take a nap to rest for tonight????
Nah...I'll read. Almost finished with my book for March. Then I'll nap.

Friday, March 11, 2011

When Did THAT Happen??

Last night, after I had finished babysitting for the day, watched the BYU game which was VERY stressful, got dinner going and cleaned a little house, I noticed my new cell phone wasn't working. Couldn't get it to even turn on or anything. Of course, not having a clue what the problem was and not having Kathryn here to tell me what was wrong, I hopped in my car and quickly drove the 2 miles to Best Buy to ask them to fix it.
I get there and they are slightly busy with a line of customers, so I get in what appears to be a waiting line for the needed help. This young mom and her, shall we say, 6 year old, come in and proceed to go directly to the Best Buy employee for some information. Then the mom realizes that there is, indeed, a waiting line and turns to her daughter and says, 'Lindsey, let's step back and let them help this old lady first.' I think to myself, 'That's nice of them' and then turn around to see which nice lady they are stepping aside for. Of course, I'm looking for some little gray haired, bent over 60-70 year old grandma when I realize that the little old lady they are talking about it is..ME!!!

WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN????

Now, I knew I had had a rough long day, but did I really look THAT bad???
I went home quite annoyed and went to look at myself in the mirror....no shower, no hair done, no make up, a little baby food on my shirt from Gavin's lunch and barbecue sauce on my cheek from the chicken on the grill.

This morning, I got up 30 minutes early. I have showered, done my hair, my make up is on, I am wearing my BYU attire for the game today and I have even sprayed Japanese Cherry Blossom body spray on me.
Yesterday's courtesy for the 'little old lady' was NOT going to be directed MY way again!!!
And I've got to remember to dye my hair again before I take Kathryn up to Idaho.

Go Cougars!!!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Babysitting Brings out the Best/Beast in Us

I used to be better at this...bad aim...


Kylie was hired by friends to babysit their two youngest boys this week while the mom Anne is out of state having surgery. This is who Kathryn usually babysits in the evenings but she does well with the toddler Mason, but not AS well with the baby Gavin. So each morning, Kathryn would pick up the two boys and take them out to Kylie with the plan of Kylie watching them at her house. Kathryn ended up staying the first day because it was just a lot for Kylie to get used to with her own baby Preston....
Long story short...it has required both girls all day long to watch the three boys with the three little one's usually winning the battle by the end of the day. One baby has not reacted well to the other baby getting attention while the other one would cry when wanting to be held...etc etc...and by the end of each day, I was being told that I had my one and only grandchild I would ever get from Kylie and Kathryn was swearing she was NEVER giving me even a single grandchild and that she hates kids.
As a mom and grandma, I have been enjoying the week as it has unfolded, observing the attitudes of my daughters under certain stressful situations. I remember being a first time mom and babysitting in my home. It was terrible!!!! I could have easily been arrested for child neglect, bordering abuse. Of course, the abuse was on my husband, the neglect on the children when I locked myself in my room...So I admire these two for even attempting this experience.
Today, I have taken over the role of babysitter...while Mason is in school, I have taken Gavin and have him here at my house. He's sleeping peacefully in the other room for his morning nap. Kylie is home with her little Preston resting and Kathryn is...still in bed. I'm here, peacefully blogging about how clam my day is and how I'm looking forward to watching the BYU game later with my sister Elaine.
Last night, I'm texting my friend in Utah who is dog sitting for his sister who has gone to Las Vegas to watch BYU play. I take it my friend does not have pets of his own as he is muttering and complaining about how this female dog (*****) is a pain in his *** and is VERY needy (as most females are). I have to laugh as my friend complains about having to watch the dog all weekend through Sunday and how inconvenient it is...he now hates this dog...in fact, when his sister Debbie called, my friend told her they had eaten the dog....I imagined THAT went over well.
I, of course, start to see a comparison to my daughters and their babysitting commitment and my friend and his babysitting commitment and realize, we are people who enjoy our comfort zones...and dislike the disruption of our peaceful little worlds by cute adorable creatures that we agree to throw into those comfort zones for any length of time. My friend sent me a picture of the dog...ADORABLE, of course...what was NOT to like???? And I look at this precious little boy Gavin who giggles and laughs and snuggles with me as I put him down for his nap and say to myself, 'What's NOT to love???'
We are creatures of habit and creatures of comfort. We don't like being uncomfortable and yet, because we are also innately kind and giving, we agree to give up our habits and comfort for short lengths of time to make someone else happy....kind of like...marriage. Bahaha...of course, marriage is usually for a different length of time, but it's the same concept...we just have to do it longer.
But at the end of this week, Kylie will be handing these adorable boys back over to their parents and my dear friend will be giving that adorable little Alaskan husky ? back to his sister Debbie. The world will hear a noted sigh of relief and life will be back to what it should have always been. I can almost bet your paycheck, since I don't have one of my own, that neither of these babysitting experts will be doing this kind deed again for a long time. Or at least, until this past week is a distant memory. Kind of like child birth....we forget how painful and uncomfortable it was over a period of time and sure enough, we end up pregnant again. By then, it's too late to remember that we hated the last time we did it. So we do it again....and again....
Creatures of habit.
Creatures of comfort.
Creatures....

Monday, March 7, 2011

EVEN after an Accident

Today should have ended with me unsettled and in turmoil.
I should be feeling confused, disrupted and completely at a loss for words.
I've had some serious thoughts and cause for concern with Kathryn and her car accident.
I've had some interesting conversations with family and friends about various topics.
And I've had a few extra demands on my time and attention.
But through it all and now at the end of this day, I feel calm...peace...and most of all, completed.
I'm content with my choices...
I'm satisfied with my performance...
I'm pleased with my responses...
and I'm grateful for being told 'Marlys....? I love you'.
It made for the best day...
EVEN after an accident.

At Least She's Getting Better at It

Today's fender bender...not too bad...
Minimal...compared to last time....


Last time was....slightly worse...slightly....

We're one month out from taking Kathryn off our insurance. One month. She's had no tickets and no other accidents since last August until today. And it wasn't her fault today.
A guy from out of state ran a stop sign and Kathryn clipped his back left wheel as she was taking a right hand turn. The passengers in his car claim they didn't see Kathryn come to a full stop either though...so, it's their word (three of them) against Kathryn.
As you can see, the damage is minimal, compared to what happened last time. The Honda is older, has over 145,000 miles on it and it's most likely going to it's death this year anyways. We will most likely NOT have it fixed or make a claim on it. With that being the case, I could not see calling the police and having both drivers given tickets against a 'he said/she said' scenario and our insurance premiums going up.
So, no police were called, and we gave them no ins info, but I did take his.
And we walked away.
Kathryn is 'pissed'. (that's a quote). Mad that she knows it's their fault but they have teamed up against her. I cautioned her that it's not important to be right this time...it's more important to be logical. WE know it wasn't her fault...the rest doesn't matter...as she stomps around the house muttering colorful words under her breath.
The car is still drivable and we don't get killed financially with a ticket and increased premiums...a win/win deal. Fault or no fault is insignificant...except to an 18 year old.
But she'll just have to get over that.
I'm trying to help...made a great dinner for her and now, since she's pretty sure 'she almost died today', she requested homemade choc chip cookies...with extra choc chips. I obliged...
I told her 'that works only until tomorrow morning' and then we're back to cleaning out the dish washer and cleaning her bathroom.
Drama Queen.
I have NO idea where she gets it from.
SIGH.....

Life Sustaining Food For Thought

Oh, if this were so, we would all starve to death!!!!
I think my days of 'soul searching, thought provoking, profound intelligent thoughts' have long since past and gone by the wayside...and I'm left with???
Having to rely on the thoughts and experiences of others to help raise my children and expand my own limited sphere of 'open mindedness'.
I love cell phones!!! I say that, only because it is just a recently acquired emotion and state of being!!! I did not feel this way two months ago...okay, not even ONE month ago. But I do today...especially because it's a slow day at work. (private joke).
But a cell phone has allowed me the opportunity to ask some thoughts and consideration on some topics of which I have needed some insight today.
First...I have to say that when having such conversations with certain friends, I am required to bring a Webster dictionary to the table. Certain friends like to show off their extended education in the art of flowery vocabulary...definition? They can't speak in Laman terms. So, when I am thrown words like empirically, symbiosis and punctilious and have to pretend I know what in the heck their talking about, I realize, with such sadness, that I have not the vocabulary nor the mastery of the English language to ever consider writing anything more than my pathetic little thoughts and feelings in this blog. (and that was most likely a grammatically drawn out, too long sentence).
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, I will never be.
My thoughts today were directed to those who do not have in them a belief in God: and then why, or why not?
This question was addressed to someone raised in the church, just like many of us have been. This friend has siblings - all raised the same. Boys went on missions and I think one sister married in the temple. Typical LDS family. I think the parents are probably around the same age as my parents which means they were members of the church raising their children under strict adherence to the commandments... no wavering from gospel principles, no gray areas of the commandments (black/white), no repentance for divorce, adultery or apostasy and very non flexible to the changes or progress made in the modern revelation of the church doctrine..(blacks and priesthood, divorce forgivable, inter-racial marriage, dating non members) etc etc... The bottom line, my friend was raised as I was raised. You would think that because of that common factor, my friend would then believe what I believe. But that is not the case in a few areas.
'Man invented God' is this friends belief. (*all thoughts and statements by friend are in quotes(').) There is 'no faith involved', there is 'no reliance on anyone but self'. And, 'we cannot expect our children to believe what we believe as parents just because that is what they are taught'. (I do agree there). I asked why then, the need for certain people in our lives...ie, children...and that we have children for a 'reason'...that was agreed on, but then in my opinion, the reason has to mean something; to both me and my children. 'All animals have the instinct to produce'...yes, but unlike other animals, humans reproduce for reasons other than just natural instinct. I would never want my children to believe or think they were conceived as a mistake...there WAS a reason - so the reason means something - and that, then, goes back to faith and what you feel....'But not everything happens for a reason'... it doesn't???
'We live the hand we're dealt with'...some choices we make and some choices are made for us...but 'because we have to interact with other people, we build walls that then allow us to keep the choices our own'. But some of our youngest children are too young to have walls yet and I want to teach my Kathryn, especially, that she can trade in some of her cards she's been dealt in life with some of her own beliefs and thoughts...'what we become is the sum total of our experiences..we've got to go through life to figure it out'. I mentioned I don't ever want to make the mistake of thinking only ONE way in life... (end of cell phone text msg. conversation)
I want to be open minded, yet within the boundaries of truth and righteousness. I do believe that our Heavenly Father has provided more than one way of achieving true happiness.
It comes to being able to weigh our choices and then making the best choices within the keeping of God's commandments. I do believe in laws and covenants - and obedience to those laws and covenants. I do NOT believe that there is only one way to do so. I believe there are different abilities and capabilities in each person to live a righteous life. My choices and acts of righteousness can only be measured against myself at any particular time in my life. I have a standard by which I am given to live. I believe it is God's standard for me. Not mine, not my husbands, not my Bishop, not my parents or my children...but God's. It's HIS standard I want to meet. And in attempting to meet and live that standard, I believe He has allowed my weaknesses and shortcomings to come into play when he measures my level of achievement and success in striving for joy...I believe He knows I am not always going to choose 'the best', but that there will be MANY times that on the scale of good, better and best, I will have stretches in my life where 'the good' will be all I am able to give..all I am able to choose. Which then means, the rewards or level of joy I experience will also be 'good'. Not 'the best' but good. And for that moment, I will have to be okay with that.
For those who have never believed in God or have never felt the need for a belief of faith in anything outside of themselves, I try to understand then, what brings them joy...what makes them happy? What sustains them and gives them any reason for anything more than living in survival mode?
Do they need love? friends? family? health? money?
If you're going to live inside that protective wall, to never be hurt, never hurt anyone else, never love or be loved, never believe or have faith, never hope for anything better, but live there just to exist....then why live there at all?
This does NOT give liberty for thought of ending your existence...although, that is the question I asked. But it was asked more for the thought of...why can't something change???
I believe in God...not only because He is at the core of my belief and existence, but because the alternative is so useless; so unnecessary for me.
I DO get joy from faith and hope. I AM the eternal optimist...I DO believe in God.
But, I also understand, accept and love the friend who doesn't.
I truly do. And will always feel that way.
Thank you, my 'symbiotic' friend. (was that used correctly?)
M

Sunday, March 6, 2011

'What HAPPENS in Vegas, STAYS in Vegas'

With the title of the post and then a picture of my bed, it would probably be appropriate to give some type of explanation about right now.
The popular saying of 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' refers to...well...there are those who go to Vegas for different reasons...gambling, quickie marriages, quickie relationships or other activities that they would prefer not sharing with the rest of the world. So, accordingly, 'what happens there, stays there' and no-one is the wiser.
I've believed that same rule of thought to carry over into the marital bedroom...or more specifically, the king sized marital bed. I've made it a rule of privacy when it comes to intimate situations and have, for the most part, stayed true to my convictions that the relationship inside the bedroom is private and is to be honored at all times. This will remain the case in my blogging experiences...even more so due to the fact that even my own husband was to be an ALIAS in my blog...whatever...he has to know that as my husband, he loses certain rights and privileges normally afforded others less significant in my life.
But not all rights...
We have had a king sized bed since the first night of our marriage. That's not too personal to know, right??? Please say right, because if you think THAT was too personal, the rest of this post is going to blow your mind...and Del's.
As a child, I was totally stumped as to why my parents slept in separate beds. They each had a double bed of which they DID put together side by side, but they were still two different beds. I tried to assure myself over and over that I knew they loved each other because they always kissed and did those other things married people did, but they still had two separate beds.
That bothered me...for years that bothered me. And now...they even sleep in separate bedrooms!!! What the heck?? Separate bedrooms????
Our first bed was a king sized water bed; Del's idea. I'm not giving him credit or blame...it just was what it was. I had never had a water bed or knew of anyone else who did either, so I had and knew of no experiences of others that would merit me NOT wanting one. So we got a water bed. We had it for only 6-7 years and now we have been on a regular mattress bed ever since - but always king size.
Del is a heavy sleeper....tornado, hurricane, earthquake or burglar..none would be able to wake him. He hears NOTHING!!! It takes a lot to wake him up. And he moves...a lot. Tossing and turning, pulls sheets and blankets, moving constantly. Goes to bed early, wakes up early...
I, on the other hand, am a very light sleeper. Del could change his mind in his sleep and it would wake me up. I hear everything...every sound, every breath, every movement, every needful thing. I'm a night owl - and sleep until 8:00 a.m. when I don't have a job. I'm very still in bed...roll over maybe once or twice...hug pillows, rarely sleep with a blanket, only a sheet.
Bottom line?
That separate bed/separate bedroom thing is starting to make sense to me.
This morning, at 5:00 when I could tell Del was awake, is when I started thinking about making this possible change in our sleeping arrangements.
He makes 'awake' noises...breathes differently, thinking sounds...moves back and forth...until he finally gets out of bed at 6:00. I'm awake, of course, and can't understand why he doesn't just get out of bed once he's awake. He KNOWS he's not going to fall back asleep. I try to fall back asleep - nope...
So, this morning, I think I finally made up my mind...I'm moving my pillows and fan to Jordan's room. I finally understand the separate bedroom thing and CERTAINLY understand the separate bed scenario. Jordan's room has a full/queen size bed...a nice one...mine now.
Now...my dilemma.
How and when to tell Del?
Or should I just let him figure it out???
Maybe at the end of the week when he notices my side of the bed hasn't had to be made in 5 days???
'What HAPPENS at the Lott house, STAYS at the Lott house.'

A Flashing Green Light Means...


Yeah...still figuring out this new cell phone thing.
Kathryn is pretty sure I'm a full fledged MORON!!!
Oh well...
I still have only the basics down...I can answer the phone, I can text and I can play scrabble. I've still not taken a single picture yet or hooked up to my FB or email. But I DID learn something very significant over the weekend...
While texting, I HAVE been just sitting there waiting for the return text to show up...stupid.
Well, Kathryn finally taught me how to put the sound on my text so that when one comes, I will hear this little 'chime' thing go off to alert me that there is a text waiting. Way cool.
I KNOW I KNOW!!! You are ALL rolling your eyes right now and silently exclaiming that Kathryn is right, I AM a techno MORON!!
To prove her point: after applying the sound to my text, I asked her what the green light up in the right hand corner was for?
Serious mom????
Yeah...of course I was serious.
That's to let me know I have a text message.
OOOHHHHH!!!!
Friday night, Kathryn and I are both here at the kitchen table. I am multi tasking...blogging, FBing AND texting...such talent all wrapped up into just a few little fingers. I amaze EVEN myself. Kathryn is, of course in the process of texting 4 different people, all at the same time. I'm impressed...
Until the chaos starts...
That little chime starts going off...first on her phone, then on my phone...then on hers...then mine...then mine again...and again...and then hers...
YOU GET THE PICTURE???? We start laughing as we watch the 'dueling phone' scenario play itself out with Kathryn displaying much more control over the multiple conversations she is carrying on and the multi tasking I'm trying to act so cool through.
I've decided KISS will be the rule of phone etiquette for me. Keep It Simple Stupid...(FOR the stupid) is more appropriate.
I have now learned why Kathryn can go so fast too. When I make a typo, I have been erasing and going back and retyping it correctly. I didn't know that once you start a word, that word will pop up correctly spelled and written and you just have to push the correct word and it puts it in completed for you. Hm...(moron thing comes to mind again).
You all have to realize...this is my first real attempt at a cell phone. I know NOTHING...NADA...ZIP...ZILCH!!!! This is all new to me...what kids and young adults know how to do instinctively, I am learning at age 51.
So please, be patient with my stupidity.
Once I learn it all, there will be no limits to what I can and WILL do.
Cybernet stalker...

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Sean's Birthday





Sean is Paul and Sherrie's son....He's never really been one of my favorite nephew's but has kind of grown on me as of late...(bahahahaha). A lot like...fungus...
Anyways..it was his birthday yesterday. He stopped by after school for some homemade chicken noodle soup and peach cobbler...(his favorite). We had a FUN fun visit and then tonight, his adorable wife Becky threw Sean a birthday party. Good food, good company and great fun again. We played 'Rock Band'...interesting thing young people do these days...instruments and singing to music played on the tv through a video...UH...I'm so old for things like that, but Sean insisted that the 4 of us there over the age of 50, do one song...'Imagine' by John Lennon. Del was on drums, Susan Robb on keyboard, Bob Rob on guitar and I was vocalist. We apologized afterwards and quickly took our departure so we could all get to bed..it was 8:00 and way past our bedtime. But a fun night for Sean....
BYU played Wyoming today and had a GREAT game...in fact, a fantastic game to end the season. We have tournament play off's next week in Las Vegas and then it's March Madness. I am pretty much zoned out the rest of the month watching basketball day in and day out. I was remembering the days when we used to actually go to the play off's with our friends the Dunn's. That's when I met Shaq for the first time...haha - geez I'm old. Those were fun times. Now, I'll take the comfort of my home UNLESS BYU goes to the Elite 8, which is being played in San Antonio Texas...and then the Final Four, which is being played in Houston Texas...and then of course, the Championship, which is also in Houston. I would have to do some pretty sweet talking though to get Del to let me go to any of those games, especially when I have a trip to Idaho planned in April. Cha Ching!!!$$$$$ I may have to enjoy BYU via the television set in my media room. Oh well...I'll be happy either way.
Yesterday and today, I've been smothering Kathryn...well, not smothering, but she's wanting some space. Instead of sharing every detail of her thoughts, actions and desires, she's wanting a little more privacy. So, of course, not knowing 'the mood' had changed, I was still back in our 'best friend tell each other everything' mode and she FB'd about crashing and having a melt down. It took a friend telling me to check on her that let me know there was even a problem. It's getting to be a 'minute by minute' experience with her...so, I'm probably needing to focus a little more of my time and efforts in keeping up with her 'changes'. She's on a count down...40 days til we go to Idaho for college. Yes, she's counting...has been since day 65. We're both counting but for different reasons. I will miss her. She's ready...at least yesterday and today she is ready to go.
But who knows??? Maybe Monday will bring another....change....
I can only hope.

Friday, March 4, 2011

'EXTRA EXTRA'

I've kind of left a few things hanging up in the air over the past few weeks...given no conclusion to some issues I have been dealing with. But after much thought and some conversation with both family and friends, I finally have some resolution to some concerns and decisions that needed to be made...those to follow...
First of all - today is Del's last day of work with Hewlett Packard. And what a relief, for both him and the rest of the family. The job has been a good one, but in the same breath, a job that has not paid him nearly what he is worth or given him appropriate compensation for the effort he has given them. He will start his new job at EMC on Monday. This is an opportunity that pays much more, allows him liberties and freedoms to use his knowledge and creativity along with the possibilities of advancement and progress professionally. He will travel with this job - headquarters in Boston, but most likely trips to England and Australia for a week at a time here and there. I'm excited for him...a new beginning for all of us.
Another personal weight goal met today!!! I've lost 30 pounds now with about 10 more yet to go. Emphasis on the '10 to go'. But I'm feeling better and actually am starting to look like I have a neck, shoulders and only 1 chin. Of course, I'm still left with a 4 pregnancy belly roll that looks like it may only be threatened by a surgical scalpel, no boobs but instead, what has affectionately been called 'two dots on a chalkboard' (yes, that is a quote)..and I have no butt!! No booty whatsoever!!! Kathryn says that's not good in an age where 'booty's' are really quite fashionable!!!! As if I can grow one!! (said with MUCH sarcasm). So, my theory is, if I could get this baby roll to somehow shift to my backside, I would be in business!! WHAT business? I'm not sure, but at least my body might be a little more perfectly proportioned. But I've not weighed this weight in over 10 years. Take 10 more pounds off and I will be what I will accept as 'I'm done with dieting' weight. Not perfect, but when you're born weighing 11 pounds, perfect only happens surgically.
BYU basketball....painful at the moment. The season has been phenomenal!!! We are currently, or WERE before our last loss, ranked #3 in the nation. Jimmer Fredette has continued to 'ooh and ahh' the nation with his outlandish scoring and miraculous plays. There has seldom been a day where Jimmer has not had a highlight on Sportscenter or ESPN but we now have some new highlights being given national attention. Our starting center, Davies, has been released from the team for the remainder of the season and playoffs due to violation of the school honor code. KILLER!!! Premarital sex...as if we all needed to know!!! This will most likely take us out of a #1 seed for the NCAA playoff's and it already affected us in the first game played after he was released from the roster...we lost. And it's plastered all over the national news and in the papers throughout the country. Nothing like having your personal life headlined for the whole world to see...and your promising and hopeful career replaced with 5 minutes (max) of personal gratification. What a waste...consequences...for all of us to share..players and fans alike...Now BYU will play with a 'hopeful of just one more game' attitude instead of the possibility of a Final Four opportunity. It has left me pretty discouraged and disappointment. I SHOULDn't be this obsessed with it, but I AM the biggest BYU fan EVER, so I am pretty much devastated.
My bucket list...I have mentioned, kind of, that I have formed a bucket list of some things I would like to do over the next little while..ie, some singing and writing a book. Both, have now been put on hold. I did start the process on both dreams and have even done some recording of music, but I've decided to, yet again, wait for a more opportune time. Mostly because, I am no longer in the emotional state I needed to be in to record the music I was singing. I guess you could say my inspiration has flickered out and I'll need to wait to find some other source of inspiration. But until then...I will stop.
Emotional bucket is empty - depleted. So I'm needing to refill it but I'm going to do so with something different than what I have previously thought was life sustaining over the past 6 months. I'm needing something a little more 'giving back' to me, a little more about 'me and my needs'. So once Kathryn is gone, I'm going to focus a little more on 'Marlys being happy.' Not quite sure how or what that will be, but I'll figure it out. I need to accept what I can live WITH and what I can live WITHOUT. I think I may surprise myself with the answer to that question. My emotionally sustaining investment bucket needs to have a little better 'return' for me...so I'm refilling it with people and things that will make me happy and meet MY needs. I've spent 51 years giving to other people and I will continue to do so to a certain degree, but my focus is now changing to 'Marlys'. Sounds pretty selfish, but I got nothin more to give...for now.
I think that pretty much covers things for now...
Back to the daily posts....
So, that is my information update.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

We Is Bad...




No really, we is just stupid.....
we were listening to Michael Jackson music...'Black and White' - love that song.
Kathryn said - 'mom, let's be gangsta's'....
and Del snapped pictures.
Stupid...
Today, I tried to do some 'preparing for college' moments with Kathryn...separating the laundry piles ( whites do NOT go with jeans), grocery shopping lists (M&M's are NOT considered an 'ingredient') and then of course, meal planning. This was when I realized Kathryn considered chocolate milkshakes their own food group. HEAVY SIGHS!!!!
I started with having her list all the meals she knew how to make..actually prepare on her own...
1...chili cheese dogs...- open the can of chili - heat up..microwave hot dog until it explodes, sprinkle cheese on hot dog bun, place hot dog on bun and pour chili over...eat in 4 bites. (side dish is fritos)
2...spaghetti - brown hamburger (add onions, garlic and mushrooms if desired) - add jar of Prego spaghetti sauce. Cook noodles until you can throw them on the wall and they stick. (side dish - salad out of a bag)
3...grilled cheese sandwiches - butter one side of each piece of bread - place in frying pan - Kraft sliced cheese ONLY - toast sides, add cheese and then keep turning until cheese melts...(side dish - can of soup).
4...chocolate milkshakes - milk, vanilla ice cream, Hershey's chocolate - add a raw egg to make for breakfast...

The rest of the discussion kind of followed the previous pattern. I think she has maybe three other meals she can prepare...which at least gives her a different meal every day!!???
I'M SUCH A BAD MOM!!!!!
I've never taught this child how to cook!!!! She's going to...die....
Oh well..
I still have 6 weeks.
Crash college prep classes...
For the next 6 weeks, I will be having her help me plan, purchase for and prepare meals. I will be having her do laundry the RIGHT way - I will be showing her how to clean house...and then, I will teach her how to do it all over again the next week. For 6 weeks this will continue until I can send her off and feel confident enough that she won't be 'crying for her mommy' every day.
Crash training???
Better late than never!!!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Progress is Being Made




After some private conversations with Del and even a few with Kathryn, we have some progress being made in the healing or developing of their father/daughter relationship.
Over the past year, it has been strained, to say the least.
Del is extremely diplomatic when it comes to parenting Kathryn. What's right is right, and what is wrong is wrong...and he tends to love or not love accordingly. There hasn't really been a 'friendship' per say, only a parent/child relationship. I have very much felt like a single parent over the past year when it comes to raising Kathryn.
But I can see some slight improvements happening.
I had a very intense discussion with Del about a month ago about his needing to love Kathryn unconditionally - no matter what she does, says, or thinks, he needs to love her and be her friend. It's not easy for him. He has difficulty in doing anything outside the realm of 'preaching' or 'teaching' in all situations. Everything is a 'learning experience' in his mind and so often, he misses the enjoyment of just 'being with Kathryn'. She is witty, humorous, intelligent and very insightful...she needs to love and be loved..she needs to be listened to and acknowledged...she needs to be validated. And she very much needs a father who, although does not always understand her, will at least, always still love her.
I think we may be getting there...there are some baby steps being made - on both their parts. A movie being watched together, a meal being made together, a trip to WalMart together and the sharing of a conversation Kathryn had with a childhood friend where she was able to tell Del some emotions and thoughts she was having over this said friend.
And Del listened, without the intent of grilling her for information, changing her behavior or encouraging her to do something differently. Both of them were pleasantly surprised and accepting of some 'new territory' being enjoyed by them both.
I'm watching...observing their movements, conversation and comfort zones expanding to include a little more of each other 'in their spaces'.
And I'm pleased. They are both making such an effort - to accept and to include the other in their lives. I'm hoping that these last 6 weeks that Kathryn is home, that she will see fit to include Del in some of these last minute memories we are trying to make and that Del will offer a little more of himself in certain areas of her life.
I guess what will be happening in the next two weeks will be a great start.
The two of them will be going sky diving together...a birthday gift we gave Kathryn for her 18th birthday. I planned on going with her, as Del went with Jordan for his birthday...but, I'm using the 'fear of heights' as my excuse to insist that Del share the experience with Kathryn himself. I think it will be wonderful for the two of them to have this memory for themselves....
So...baby steps...but progress is progress and I'll take any amount that is happening.
Very nice.

My Motto

Words to live by....

Be who you are and say what you feel...
because those who mind don't matter...
and those who matter don't mind.

Thank you to all who accept and love me for who I am...
not expecting me to change or be different...
but remain loyal and always there....

Just Give Me the **** Award....I EARNED IT!!!!!


I asked my friend yesterday where I 'draw the line' in going for the 'Mother of the Year' award. He said, 'win it three times and we'll talk'.
Well, I'M TALKIN'!!!!
Yesterday, I was up early...of course, THAT, in and of it's self earns me SOME type of reward, especially because I stayed up late into the night/morning talking with Kathryn about saving her world...one person at a time...I was exhausted when I finally crawled into bed at 2:00 am just to be up at 5:30 this morning...couldn't sleep???
So, I went walking...then showered, did my hair, did some laundry, dishes, and then started in the kitchen for the day. Kathryn has been begging for homemade chicken noodle soup for over two weeks now and I had promised her I would 'get around to it' eventually.
Well, eventually came yesterday. It took most of the morning to make the soup including the homemade noodles that would need to spend the afternoon drying out. Once it was finished, I started in on the snickerdoodles; favorites of both Kathryn and Del. I made those in between reading the last pages of my book I had started two days previous, did 2 more loads of laundry, cleaned up more dishes, and then went and took the dog for another walk.
I did manage to watch the BYU/SDSU basketball game again while Kathryn went over to Kylie's to watch a movie, but when she got back, she and I took a trip into Half Price Books to sell back $200 worth of books for a whopping $11 return!!! Whoot whoot...did I feel like I had gotten a great deal or what???
We got home just in time for me to heat up the soup and put the noodles in so Kathryn could have dinner before rushing off to a meeting with the Bishop. Del came home early and so had dinner with me and then while he enjoyed a little t.v, I cleaned up the kitchen for the last time of the day and waited for Kathryn to come home so we could finish our conversation from the night before.
Oh, you thought we had solved all her problems??? Not quite!!!
We talked for an hour but then I had some other mommy things I needed to do while she was in her bedroom on the phone. Upon the conclusion of her phone conversation, I was on the computer...it was around 10:00 p.m. I was ready for bed..expecting to actually GO TO BED in the near future. I thought Kathryn was too - she was actually IN bed, but not asleep.
I was 'chatting' with a friend on the computer who suggested I go in and give Kathryn a kiss on her forehead, just to let her know I loved her and then walk out of her room. Not a bad idea, even though I had no doubt Kathryn knew I loved her...but it never hurts to tell them again. So I did. Kathryn smiled and told me she loved me.
I hadn't sat back down at the computer before Kathryn came bounding out of her room saying she wanted to go to the movies...with her friend Loren. HUH???!!!
I typed the info to my friend who made the comment that it was 'kind of late'..so I went to tell Kathryn it was late, but nope - she invites me to go!!!! 'Come on mom...it will be fun'..I was about all 'funned out' for the day...but I didn't want to experience a 'missed opportunity', so I agreed, jumped up, got dressed and we were out the door in 2 minutes.
At this point, I'm swearing under my breath at my idiotic friend who had the stupid idea in the first place of me having a 'tender parent moment' with my daughter...encouraging her to want further bonding moments that same night...ARGH!!! But I'm somewhat pacified thinking we are going to see the Johnny Depp movie 'The Tourist' which would have made things soooo worth the late hour. But how foolish was I to think it would be THAT wonderful???
I guess it was the 3-D glasses Kathryn handed me and told me I would need to put on once the movie started that gave me my first clue that I was NOT going to be seeing my beloved Johnny Depp but that I was going to be watching the new 'Justin Beiber' movie....
Who is Justin Beiber you ask???? A seventeen year old teeny bopper singer who wears a baseball cap to the side of his head and sings love songs to anyone between the ages of 3 to late 50's. No kidding...there were THOUSANDS of screaming girls/women IN this movie...CRAZY!!!
Not at the theater mind you, cuz it's only us three at the movie theater!!! I am, of course, MADLY texting on my phone that I'm going to KILL my best friend for getting me into this and that I better win 'Mother of the Year' for my day...hence, the response of 'win three times and we'll talk...'
HOPEFULLY, the pictures make sense now...yes, those ARE the 3D glasses...brought home as proof of my 'lapse in common sense' moment, but yet another fun memory for Kathryn to take with her to college.
The things we do as parents...yes, there are moments I probably should say 'no' or 'not this time'...but I just couldn't see last night being one of those moments. I'm not even quite sure I'll recognize one of those moments if and when it happens.
I told my friend that last night's movie merits 2X's towards the three I have to get before we can talk about drawing the line on this parenthood thing. He agreed...but I'm secretly hoping I never reach the third time because I'm not sure I would ever want this parenthood thing to end as I now know it can be.
But no more Justin Beiber movies. Or 'anything like unto it'.
I did find myself saying 'never say never' last night.
Words I'm sure I will live to regret...

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Our Protection While We Hibernate



Today is our hibernation day but unlike our other hiber days, I am up, walked, showered, dressed and dinner started for the day...homemade chicken noodle soup; something I have promised Kathryn for weeks now.
These are the books that we have read over the past two weeks, plus, the Twilight series that are not pictured. Kathryn is returning all these to Half Price Books and getting new ones for our next few weeks.
Lacey??? While Kathryn and I are tucked away back in her bedroom reading day in and day out, Lacey keeps watch of things for us...letting us know when people pass by our house, the phone rings, people are at our door or the mail comes. She even let's us know what time of day it is...3:00, the kids get home from school - she barks...5:00, the neighbor gets home from work, she barks...7:00, Del gets home...she barks, whines AND runs to the door to greet him...
Lacey is barking in the kitchen...
the chicken must be done boiling for my soup.
Time to chop the veggies...