....different trials
....different secrets
....different shame
....different phobias
....different heartaches
....different struggles
....different closet.
'Coming Out of the Closet' used to mean you were disclosing to others that you were either gay or lesbian and you were liberating yourself from that burden of secrecy. I guess it still does mean that in most of the world. But in the world of the church and being a female in that church, 'coming out of the closet' means disclosing that you are either a manic depressive or have a depression/anxiety and panic disorder that you are now disclosing to other members of the church.
And it's real. And it doesn't affect only the sisters in the church, (although they are mostly female in my circle), but all variations of members - youth, male, female, old, young, married, not married, employed, unemployed , active, less active - etc etc...it affects the strong and the weak and it takes no preference as to who it captures in it's web and tortures.
My cousin Meredith and his wife were recently called to be the new Mission President and companion in one of the missions in Peru. In extending the call, Meredith asked Pres. Oaks if he had any questions or concerns about what he should be doing to prepare for serving as a Mission President. President Oaks response has left me concerned and worried for the members of the church. He told Meredith to 'spend a good amount of time studying and educating himself to the problems of mental illness, anxiety, depression and low self esteem.' These are the trials of the youth today and especially of those preparing to go on missions.
And it's rampant throughout the world. In just over the past year, I have known at least 3-4 missionaries who have come home early from their missions, burdened by these ailments in their health. I have had at least, 10-12 CLOSE friends and family, diagnosed and disclosing personal mental health issues. And I, myself, suffer from anxiety and panic attack issues related and due to stress. I have not, as yet, disclosed to outsiders, that I suffer from such disorders. Only a select few know that I am on medications to help me deal with the issues of anxiety, stress and panic.
Why have I remained silent? Most often, those suffering from these disorders are shamed, embarrassed or feel 'lesser than' they SHOULD be in the eyes of others. We are guilted into feeling insufficient in our capabilities to serve, to be the perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect employer or perfect member of the church. We feel 'LESSER THAN' others. So we remain silent and suffer in our secret.
But over the past 5 years or so, the church and society is very much encouraging the 'coming out of the closet' to those who suffer from mental health issues. We are being counseled to 'get help' and in turn, 'help those who suffer along side us'. Listen to those who suffer - accept those who suffer - love and understand those who suffer - and as a sufferer, GET HELP!!
I heard a quote that hit me profoundly this past weekend -
"Shame dies when stories are told in a safe place".
For those that I love and those who may need me, I want to be that safe place. I want to help take away the shame and give them a place where they feel safe enough to disclose their most heart wrenching difficulties with this illness. Where they will not be judged - where they will be valued for what they can offer - where they can be appreciated for what they ARE able to contribute- where they can get advice from one who has suffered for years and finally gotten the help to cope with my most difficult of times. I can now help.
So, COME OUT OF YOUR CLOSETS and let's be friends. Let me help you. Let me give you a safe place to share your story.
I will listen.
I will help you.
I will love you.
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