Sunday, July 31, 2011

Preston's Mommy Turns Twenty -Two

Today was my pretty girl's birthday. Kylie turned 22 today...so grown up...such a good woman, wonderful wife and GREAT mother. I thought having her and my other children was the best thing in the world...but I'm thinking that grandchildren really are God's way of saying..'Nope, you only THOUGHT you were happy...let me introduce you to grandchildren...' He was right.
Preston with his Aunt Chica...best buds....they make each other smile.
But apparently, grandpa was Preston's best friend of choice tonight. He wanted to be with grandpa everywhere and in everything grandpa did. Jealous?? Me?? OF COURSE!!!!
Grandpa teaching Preston how to write his name...really Grandpa?? 'Never too young to learn the basics..'
Preston sees Lacey and....whoosh....he is off like a bullet to chase the poor puppy down. Nothing is off limits now...if Preston sees it and he wants it, then he walks to it now. So adorable to see him mobile now. He is in a whole new world. It will be our challenge to keep up with him now.
It is such a blessing to have him in our lives...I love being his grandma.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Lazy Saturday

Preston insisted on hanging out with grandpa in the office. So while grandpa was visiting with Mike, Preston decided to take all of grandpa's books off the book shelf. The picture is very small but priceless.



Preston started to walk this past week. Yep, he's mobile...cruising from place to place, spot to spot...and he's adorable. He loves to walk to people and then chase Lacey around too. Del went to Cabella's today and came home with a generator and a pop gun for Preston. It seems that Preston isn't as interested in the gun as he is the little red popper at the end. He loves to chew on it.

Because it was Saturday, and I didn't have to go in to work, I didn't shower nor do my hair. So while here, Kylie decided to play with my hair. For some reason, my girls get the biggest kick out of making me look...like the above picture. You would think that no shower, no make up and no hair done would suffice it for an 'ugly day'...but no, Kylie was determined that 'uglier COULD be achieved!!' And she succeeded!!! Uglier WAS achieved!!!!

I had to run to the bank this morning to cash my pay check and then I was going to have my nails filled and get a few groceries before going home. While at the bank, I reached out my window to get the money carrier that goes through the tube, but my pinky finger on my left hand caught the bar and jammed my fingernail all the way back to the quik. OMG!!! It hurt sooo badly!!! Started bleeding right away where the nail had been torn away from the finger. I screamed in pain and tried not to cry...but one or two tears escaped..
I went to have my nail looked at...it will most likely fall off in about a month or so, but in the meantime, the guy put an acrylic backing on it to help it from pulling away from my finger. It hurts like you know what...just to bump it hurts so I'm being very careful.
Del is over babysitting Preston tonight. I decided to stay home alone...just nice to have time to myself. Kylie, Mike and Preston will be coming over tomorrow to dinner for Kylie's birthday. We will give her present then...she will LOVE it. I'm not going to say what it is because she reads my blog and I don't want her to see what it is before manana. She'll be turning 22...big girl.
Speaking of big girl...I've gained 3 pounds back...again. Rough week. Ridiculous though to take it out on myself by over eating...I would have thought I would know how to comfort myself without stuffing my face by now...Seems like some pain can only be hidden with chocolate...I just need to get rid of the pain, which then??? Gets rid of the chocolate.
bahahahaha....

Friday, July 29, 2011

"RUFF Day"

It has been miserably hot throughout the United States the past months...especially here in Texas. As I have mentioned, we have had record highs and for record lengths of time. Today was like a 29th or so consecutive day in the three digits. It's on the national news daily along with the precautions that people should be taking with their children, their health and their neighbors etc...These warnings should and HAVE included pets....
Today, after lunch, we received a frantic call from one of our patients that had a large golden lab..a big dog...not in the best of health, but doing okay. Her name was Blue. She had taken her for a walk...and only 20 minutes into the walk, she noticed her tired and panting, so she stopped to rest her in the shade, then walked her home. That's when she stroked out. Her body got too hot, she began panting and drooling terribly, collapsed to the ground and stroked out...she (owner)somehow picked her over 90 pound body up and got her into her car where she drove her frantically to our office. Two of our techs ran out and carried her into our hospital room where immediately nurses, techs, and doctors were putting IV's in her and hosing her down with cold water. Her temperature was over 110'. Dr Anderson told me later that most dogs are considered 'brain fried' at anything over 107'. For 30 minutes, they tried to save this dog...it killed me looking at the dog struggling desperately to keep breathing...panting SO deeply for every breath it could get...eyes glazed over...The owner was informed of the seriousness of the situation and a decision needed to be made, with our doctor encouraging the owner to end the suffering of the animal. IT WAS HEART WRENCHING to watch that owner sob over the body of her dog..her pet...her family member and have to say 'goodbye' while apologizing for killing her on the walk. UGH! I cried...and left the room.
Just a few hours later, our office manager Heather, had to also say 'goodbye' to her beloved Max. Max was a 4yr old beautiful German Shepherd that Heather and her family had brought into their family when Max was just a few weeks old. Over the years, Max started to show a few signs of aggression under certain circumstances...with the last incident being last week when he happened to bite one of our doctors at the office when being put under anesthesia for a dental procedure. It was causing Heather and her family some great concern and worry to realize that Max could no longer be considered safe around others outside of family. But more than that, Heather felt that there truly was something 'off' with Max's mind...that he wasn't quite 'well', or 'whole'. So, for the safety of others and for Max's well being, she felt it was best to 'put him down'.
This was a decision she had to make a few days ago but couldn't have performed until today when it had been the appropriate length of time since his last 'attack' and he had been cleared of rabies by the city. So, today was the day. It has been a very long and emotional week for Heather. There have been many tears...many laughs as she has remembered some of her good memories with him too. Along with her husband, her children have also been struggling with the decision...so, to help them cope, they have done a few things with Max, 'out of the ordinary'...like, allowing him to swim in the pool...giving him a can of beer last night...'for the road'...and a cookie at the office just before he was put to sleep. The medication used to 'put the animal to sleep' is called 'the red juice'. Heather even joked about him getting the 'red juice today'...all in trying to not have a break down...
But she did...not as bad as I thought she would, but bad enough. She brought him and took him into a room where she was joined by her husband Rick. They said their goodbyes...and then Heather left the room while Rick stayed and was joined by one of our techs Christy who was a good friend of the family too. They watched and comforted Max while Dr Lass administered 'the red juice'....then Max went to sleep.
Heather left immediately afterwards with her husband and went home to mourn in private.
The rest of us cried together at the office.

They're just animals...pets wanting to be loved and cared for. They don't know the 'do's' or 'don'ts' of life...they just know that living and loving makes them very happy. And it's our job as humans to find them and love them...care for them and give them food, home and love.
I came home and gave Lacey an extra love and hug.
I hope she knows I love her....

29th Anniversary...

Today is my 29th wedding anniversary; a day FULL of up and down emotions. I married Del 29 yrs ago and felt blessed to have found someone who loved me and would accept me and love me for the rest of my life. I loved Del and hoped that he would be able to help me be all I could be in life as a person, a wife and a mother and that in turn, I would be able to add some joy and fulfillment in his life also. Poor Del...he had no idea he was marrying a 'broken and much needing to be healed heart and soul'...but as he has found and learned over the years, I was a 'work in progress' and a project that he has never been willing to give up on, even when I gave him no reason to stick around. For this endurance in patience and love, I thank him. Today, he sent Kathryn to my office with these roses in hand, the beautiful card and a jewelry box that carried a new watch that I was very much wanting. The card read...'it doesn't take much 'watching' to see all the colorful 'roses' 'time' has given us. I love you...Happy Anniversary..'
Over the past 9 months, I haven't given Del many reasons to love me at all. I haven't given him reason to trust me, to care for me or to even stay with me. But he has. I know why...because Del is a man of his word..a man of his covenants...a man loyal and faithful to his God...and his wife. Happy Anniversary Del.


And then this...above...Some things never change...as much as we would hope they would over time and patience..some things just never change. This is Kathryn's bedroom and bathroom only 4 days after getting home. I am pretending it's not there...and after she leaves, I will clean it up, again, and get it ready for the NEXT time she comes through.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Busy Day Off but Not Busy Enough




Today, being Wednesday, I had made a lot of plans for my 'day off'. But then I found out that I had a staff meeting for work from 12:00 - 2:00 p.m. and then Kathryn wanted to go do some shopping today.
So, after I got up and did the dishes, I showered, dressed and then off to the McKinney library where I had signed up for a library card over the internet. I figured, that since I was trying to read a book a month, that instead of continuing to try and buy a new one every month, I better start trying to just check them out from the library. Plus, there is a wider and broader selection for me to choose from at the library and I won't have to just go from 'word of mouth'.
After going to the library, I stopped by Walmart where I was able to find a shirt for Del for our family pictures and then went straight to the office where the next two hours were spent in a staff meeting.
I went home to find Kathryn just getting a shower and dressed for the day so she hurried and finished so that we could meet up with Kylie and Preston to go shopping. We met them at the shoe store first - Preston was adorable...had just finished going swimming and smelled so good to me. Kathryn is still a stranger to him so he came to me and clung on to me for dear life. He was wearing the 18 month BYU t-shirt I bought him when he was born so I took some pictures of how cute he was.
We found Kathryn a shirt to wear for family pictures too and then we went off to the mall to see if we could find something for me and Kylie and Kylie's 'men'. Nothing. But I wasn't really into the shopping thing anymore because it was so hot....107' outside...so tiring. We did stop and get Kylie and Preston some lunch and Kathryn a drink...I didn't buy anything for myself, just picked in everyone elses.
Then home. Made ham fried rice for dinner and now Kathryn has just finished making no-bake cookies. Just a domestic night at home...
but I'm feeling...oh, it's nothing. With Kathryn home, I am remembering much of when she was last here and the stage of life I was living....makes me remember emotions and feelings I've been trying for over three months to set aside. Very difficult right now...she keeps asking 'how are you?' and I won't talk about it. She's frustrated...but I can't talk...No, I 'won't' talk. Never again.
Not about that.
Anything else but that. It seems that something always brings me back to that....
Glad I'm back to work tomorrow. Gotta stay busy so I can't...think.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Adding Insult to Injury




I had no idea these pictures would be so small as they were the first pictures I have taken on my phone and then transferred to my picture folder....so you can barely see what they show....
Yeah...I took that front fender right over the curb at work..and then while trying to back off the curb, took off the fender of the car. Not like this poor car hasn't been through enough already with Kathryn having driven it for over a year before she left it for me to have...or at least, what was left of it...
So Del had to come with his trusty measuring and duct tape to somehow get me home at least. And it has held together with the duct tape for at least...well, two days so far. But it won't be long before something a little more permanent has to be done. The duct tape is already peeling away and I am hoping not to get stranded on my way to or from work.
How ghetto...really.

Three Digit Record Highs

Even though I can claim a great tan at the moment, it has taken a lot of miserable afternoons to achieve this gorgeous tan...It has been down right blistering hot for 23 consecutive days with temperatures in the three digits...a record for Texas.
This is what the temperature showed last Sunday on our way to church at 1:00 p.m. And Del said that yesterday on his way home from work, it actually said 117', but was really only 112'.
I am once again resolved to the fact that the only reason I am in Texas is to get used to this heat...so that when I am sent directly to HELL, I will have no culture shock whatsoever, but feel very much..at home.

Home For a Visit





Kathryn just finished her first semester at BYU Idaho and is now home for the 6 weeks before she starts the fall semester in September. I am pleased to report she passed all of her classes, but only by the skin of her teeth. Two of them, she passed with a D...but we'll take it, considering about 70% of freshman DON'T pass the one class....Science. But she does recognize that she will need to put forth a LITTLE more effort this next time, in both the areas of homework and over all attitude of being a college student. The first semester is always the hardest with all the adjustments a freshman student has to make. Plus, with it being the first time Kathryn has actually been away from home, I'll have to give her a 'C' for her overall grade for her first experience of...life away from her mommy.
Of course, her first item of business was to eat a homemade sandwich the moment we got home past midnight...she hadn't eaten all day. Then Saturday, Kylie brought Preston over to see his 'aunt Chica' and they spent the afternoon bonding in the little pool and eating pretzels. Kathryn loves her little nephew and has enjoyed every minute she has had with both him and her family.
There will be babysitting, lawns to mow, dishes to do, errands to run and money to earn here and there for the next 5 weeks before we go on our family cruise and then she heads back on up to Idaho.
And patience will be the word of the day...each and every day. She has enjoyed 4 months of no rules, no parents, no curfews and no responsibility except to herself. We will expect a little more from her than that while she is here...so, patience will be exercised from both us and Kathryn. But I am thrilled to have her here...she has brought a lot of energy back into the home, although I will be honest, I have enjoyed the peace and quiet for the past 4 months...it has given me the time needed to reflect and pause in my life over things that needed my attention. But now, I have 5 weeks to give to her energy level and hopes for a fun time off.
Welcome home Kathryn!!!!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Written For My Eyes Only

I've spent the past 3 months writing ....here...and on paper. I wrote a lot here, for everyone to see. But there were just some things that couldn't be written here. So, I wrote it on paper too...for only my eyes to see.
And now, it's done. It's finished..the story is written...completed.
Maybe, someday, it will be read by another set of eyes.
But until then, it remains...for my eyes only.

Monday, July 18, 2011

A Little Too Heavy Today


Still have a heavy heart here and there...
today it was...here AND there...and everywhere....
big sighs....

Oldies but Goodies



This is who we hang with now for Family Night.
It's the 'Empty Nesters Group'...
This is Kathryn's fault...
But a good group of people and tonight was our first night with them... salad's, homemade ice cream and cookies while watching slides and listening to John and Judi Fry share about their mission to England. It was really interesting, especially to me and Del as we are hoping to go next year for our 30th anniversary.
Del is packing for another trip to Phoenix tomorrow. He'll be gone only three days this time. It appears he'll be traveling more and more as this job progresses....Brazil has been mentioned, France, Atlanta and even England and Australia.
Appears he's a lot more important that I ever knew...or...he's got a second life I know nothing about...Hahaha...yeah right...it IS Del...no secrets there....

Saturday, July 16, 2011

It's a Jungle Out There















What a FUN afternoon we spent at Cabela's with Preston. And although he was sooo tired and afraid of most everything after seeing the big moose, he found much comfort in the secure arms of his grandpa. He was in awe most of the time seeing the animals, fish and playing with the guns and toys. It was a fun afternoon.
Now, we hope we get the same response from Jordan when we take him and Lexi next month when they come to visit.
Great Place....

Monday, July 11, 2011

'She's BAAAAAACCCKKKKK'

It's been a LOOOONNNNGGG time...
but today, on the way home from work, I actually rolled down the car windows of my 'loser cruiser' and belted out the song 'Take a Chance on Me' from ABBA...
...AND IT FELT SO GOOD to sing again.
I haven't sung in months....can't...haven't been able to even make it through a single song.
It's always defined who I am...but I haven't known who that was for awhile.
Maybe I should start to sing again.
Maybe....

Destination: Phoenix


We have been in the 'three digits' here in Texas for the past 10 days with today being 104'. It has been hot.
Del was scheduled to be in Boston this week with the anticipation of having much cooler weather than we are suffering here in Texas...but Saturday, he got his new traveling itinerary...
destination???
Phoenix Arizona....also experiencing three digit temperatures for the past few weeks.
He flew out early this morning and won't be home until Thursday...
I hope he can at least enjoy new scenery if not new temperatures.

I've Lost My Accent


Yesterday in Primary, I was talking to the younger children about temples and I had about 5-6 pictures of temples in different places. I would show them a temple, give them a clue and then have them guess where they thought the temple was.
There was one in Tonga, California (where Sis Lott was born), in Utah (the state with the most temples) and then I said 'And this temple 'esta donde hablan Espanol' and then the hands shot up. I was excited to know that many of them could recognize the simple Spanish I spoke...
until...
I called on my home teachers daughter, Callie, to answer. She proudly proclaimed...
..."CHINA!!!!".
Really?
Guess I better brush up on my Chilean accent...

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Some Call It Old Age



Sometimes, it's just this....I'm dumb, or forgetful...or just one of those days that I can't remember my first name.
Today was one of those days... feel like I'm getting nowhere fast and stuck in one place that no longer seems familiar to me.
Then there are these days...when I am playing the piano and can't remember where to put my fingers...the keys no longer look right.
Or, I'm singing a song I have song hundreds of times...and I can't remember the words.
Or, the roommate I had in college reminds me of something that happened 30 years ago and I can't remember what she's talking about.
Old age???
Brain fart??
Both??

Spinning My Wheels...

...and getting...no where.
It just seems like my intentions are good and my efforts are there, but I'm just not getting very far. I feel like I've been living my life in 'neutral' the past 3 months...not in 'drive', not in 'reverse' but in neutral....coasting along..not getting...anywhere.
I can see small steps of progress, but then I have a day like today that makes me feel there has been no progress at all; no marked improvement or nothing has changed.
Discouraging...disappointing...frustrating...painful...
Start over again...
Feel like a kid learning how to ride a bike all over again.
I keep falling off...
Maybe I should put the 'training wheels' back on???

Saturday, July 9, 2011

How Do You Spell That????

I hate that there are some days when the first four letter words I think of to express my emotions, feelings and life are *#!@, %#*!, %@#! and ****. And I hate, most of all, that I THINK them, but can't say them!!! Not without the consequence of others thinking poorly of or being disappointed in me, especially God. But aren't there just days when you wish you could just get out a good ole 'damn or hell' without having to look over your shoulder to see who heard your pain???
Some day's, my four letter words are hate, hurt, pain, suck, hard, ouch, song, past and then the one's I'm not allowed to express out loud...


....then...
there are the days when the four letter words that describe my life are love, diet, whoa, real, work, goal, give, free and blog. Of course, those days are good and cherished by me each passing day. I'm learning to recognize them and how to prolong them to where they are more and more a common reality in my living.

Of course, I have my days when every four letter word I know is felt, lived and expressed without my caring who is over my shoulder listening or who is watching. Whether is be my LOVE day or HATE day, my HARD day or EASY day, my HURT day or FREE day, my GIVE day or TAKE day, my SUCK day or PAST day, my DIET day or GOAL day...
...whatever day it is, or four letter word I feel or say, I hope I can do it knowing that I can use a new vocabulary, just by living another day.