Monday, April 26, 2021

Living Through the Final Days

 The past 10 days for Rachel have been a roller coaster.  Mike has been having a very difficult time trying to keep up with Rachel's care giving, so he called us and Elaine went up and has been there for over a week.  During that time, she has declined significantly; barely able to understand her speaking and mumbling.  They, at one time, were withholding food and water from her to help the process along, but she wasn't ready for that stage, so they are back to giving her tiny bites of food like once a day and sips of water.  Nothing to sustain her or prolong her life, but nothing to shorten it either.  Becca went for a few days to help Elaine too, and the four days there, Becca says were some of the most difficult to watch Rachel.  Dying is not pretty - and some sides of Rachel have manifest themselves as very mean and ugly.  But we realize it's not her.  That's just her body, fighting the pain, fighting the dying process and fighting the loss of knowing who she is anymore.  I want to be there for her, but on the flip side, I don't want to remember her that way.  

Mike Has called in for more professional help from hospice.  So for the past two nights, they have had a full time nurse to come in from 9:00 pm to 9:00 am to administer to all of Rachel's needs.  It has given both Mike and the other care takers a few nights of good sleep and rejuvenation to handle Rachel's needs during the day.  They say her vital signs are still strong, but she has not had enough food and water to sustain her for much longer.  

I live for the daily reports from Becca and Elaine to know the details that the others don't get.  There was a day that they sent me texts begging me to have our family pray for her immediate release from this life, as her suffering was so great.  So, we did.  Of course, always with the stipulation of the Lord's will being done in HIS time.  

And she lives through another day.

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