Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Golden Years

A sweet old man came into our office yesterday to get some dog food for his pet.
I helped him with his order.
As he was telling me what he needed, I began a conversation with him about the weather and what his big plans were for the beautiful day. 'Too hot to be outside' and his 'Parkinson's Disease was slowing him down enough that he didn't get out much' except for errands.
Parkinson's Disease.
My daddy has Parkinson's Disease, diagnosed three years ago.
I asked more questions...about his symptoms, how recently diagnosed, his age and some of the trials he has been experiencing. As he described a lot of his activities, or lack of, my thoughts went to Utah where I know my daddy lives much the same way as this sweet old man, except my daddy is 85 and this little man was only 80.
I watched him carefully, seeing his movements, facial expressions, limitations and physical struggles as he described to me what he had always hoped would be his 'golden years'. He wasn't feeling like they were very 'golden' at all...He looked old to me. I had never seen my daddy as that old. Did my daddy look that old??
I wondered if my daddy was feeling the same way. My thoughts have always been that I want my parents to live forever so that my children and grandchildren can enjoy them for years to come. But in doing that, am I, in turn, cursing them with discomfort and hanging on to a life they would much rather leave behind for the next life of physical comfort and few limitations???
Del lives each day in pain and weakness. Have I been selfish in my prayers of preserving his life for the wants and needs of his wife and children??? Would he much rather not suffer here on earth for a better life on the other side???
I don't dare ask him.
I don't want to know the answer.

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